Chapter 10
Julia turned at the sound of someone knocking at
the dispensary door. Brushing her hands
free of the dust from the herbs she’d been grinding into a powder with the
metate, she turned to see who was there.
The knock meant it wasn’t family.
Family would just barrel right on through, even if the door were locked!
Opening the door, she smiled when she saw a
familiar face.
“Leaning Bear!”
The tall man from the nearby Meskwaki
reservation leaned nonchalantly against the doorframe, much as he seemed to
lean against anything handy, at any time, rather than stand straight on his own
two feet, thus his name.
“Come on in,” she urged, reaching out to grab
one of his hands and drag him into the house.
He pulled off his otter fur cap to reveal his shaved head with only a
scalplock of hair left on top, held up by a porcupine roach. She laughed affectionately at the sight. His peers dressed mostly the same as whites
these days. But Leaning Bear insisted on
wearing traditional clothes, at least when he was out ‘in public’ as he termed
it when he roamed amongst the nearby white towns. The leather moccasins, breechclout and
leggings and poncho, with no shirt beneath, were his own private
rebellion. “What are you doin’
here? Everyone alright?”
“Yep,” he smiled, shrugging. “Just heard you were back in town and thought
I’d drop in and see you all dressed up like a white lady.”
“Well?” she asked, twirling obligingly so he
could check out her bright blue and grey checked dress with black braid trim at
the edge of the collar and sleeves, along the waist and dancing around the
bottom flounce of the skirt.
Leaning Bear grunted. “You look like a white woman alright. Guess that’s to be expected, the way you were
raised and all those years at school.”
The smile dropped off Julia’s face at his words
and she turned back to the counter and the grinding she’d been working at. Picking up the metate stone she ground it
against the larger base stone with all her strength as she muttered, “Clothes
can’t change who you are.”
“What’s wrong, Wiggle Girl?” Leaning Bear asked
in concern, using her childhood name. “Having
trouble with those white boys next door again?”
Julia shook her head slowly, refusing to look at
him in fear she’d start crying. She’d
done enough of that the last couple of days.
“Just facing…. reality, I guess. There’s
no room for a mostly native woman in this white man’s world. No matter how smart she is or how hard she
tries to fit in.”
Leaning Bear grunted in silent acknowledgement
of the truth of her words as he leaned back against the counter and crossed his
arms over his chest. The move brought a
slight smile to Julia’s troubled face, it reminded her so much of her Pa.
“I’m thinkin’ ‘bout openin’ a medical shop at
the reservation,” she said in sudden inspiration. “At least all my knowledge could do some good
there.”
“Thought you studied languages and literature.”
Julia shrugged.
“I spent more years studying at my parents’ sides than I did learning
from books in Iowa. And that knowledge
just seems more useful right now.”
“Your help wouldn’t be turned away,” he sighed,
turning his head to peer through the window that overlooked the wide open prairie
beyond the ranch grounds. “Lord knows
it’s hard enough on the reservation. Even
the people the white men send to help us are second hand, at best. And they don’t send half the help they
promised.” He turned back to look at
Julia, peering searchingly into her face.
“But you shouldn’t come if you’re just trying to run away from your
troubles here. Deal with them, then, if
you still feel the call, come set up shop.
We’ll welcome you with open arms.”
Pushing himself to his feet, he strode to a
cupboard where Buck kept his supplies. He opened the door and pulled out a
package. Holding it up for Julia’s
inspection, he asked, “This mine?”
She nodded.
“Pa said he put a little extra willowbark in there. Thought you might need it with the winter
months comin’.”
Leaning Bear smiled. “Tell him I said, ‘Thanks,” he said and confidently
toward the door, opened it and stepped out.
His hand still on the handle, he turned back to Julia and added with an
insouciant grin, “You figure out your problems here and come join us, I’ll be
the first one in line, little Wiggle Girl.”
**********
Jamie watched from behind the half-opened barn
door as Julia bade a smiling farewell to the tall familiar form of Leaning
Bear. The Meskwaki warrior was one of
many Indians from nearby reservations, and more than a few there weren’t so
nearby, who visited the ranch to pick up medical supplies from his Uncle Buck. Leaning Bear had been coming around since
they were all children. But it seemed he’d
been around much more often than was necessary in recent years, Jamie thought
with a distasteful moue. He’d never
really worried about the man before as a rival for Julia’s affections. But now…. something was wrong and he didn’t
know how to fix it. He knew what his Ma
would say, ask her what was wrong. But Julia
wouldn’t even talk to him.
For the last several days she’d been avoiding
him like the plague. He recognized all
the signs, the sudden need to get something in another room when he entered,
the refusal to look his direction, because he’d played the same game not that
long ago himself. What he couldn’t
figure out was what had sparked it.
It had all started after that confrontation with
Carl. Sure, Carl’d been an ass, but when
wasn’t he? She’d never let that get to
her before. Was it because he’d fought
back? What had she expected? He wasn’t going to stand around and let that
ass insult his sweetheart. She knew he
had a temper, though he did his best to keep it under control, and was more
than a bit protective of those he… cared for.
His reaction should’ve come as no surprise to her. But hers sure had surprised him. They’d known each other all their lives and
he still hadn’t figured her out.
Of course, Pa said he’d yet to figure out Ma,
too. So maybe it was that whole
man/woman thing. Jamie sighed. He just didn’t know anymore.
**********
“Hey, Harry, you been past the telegraph
office?” Tompkins, Jr, asked as he packed up the last of the other young man’s
purchase.
“No, why?” Harry asked, perplexed. Usually, if there was a telegram for the
ranch the office just sent it out with Marshal McCloud, aka Aunt Lou.
“Benton was in here earlier looking for the
Marshal. Said he had a telegram for your
sister, Julia. But no one’s seen the
Marshal today, either.”
Now Harry was even more confused. A telegram for Julia? “I’ll stop by there, next,” he answered. “Thanks for the heads up.”
**********
Harry looked down at the slip of paper in his
hands as he sat on the seat of the buckboard and frowned slightly. It was from that Abe fellow. He wondered what it said, but forebore to actually
open the folded paper. It wasn’t his and
Pa had drilled the importance of respecting his sibling’s privacy into him from
day one, not to mention the sanctity of the mail, even if it was a telegram and
not a real letter.
Slipping it into his jacket pocket, Harry
unwrapped the reins from their place on the brake and prepared to head
home. He just hoped it contained good
news. He didn’t know what had happened
between Julia and Jamie, but she was moping around like she’d lost her best
friend. Heck, for all he knew she had.
Something needed to change. And
soon.
**********
“Abe’s coming back!” Julia squealed in
excitement after reading the short telegram.
“He got the job in Plum Creek , but they don’t want him to start until
after the New Year. So he’s asking if he
can come spend the holidays with us!”
“And I take it you plan to tell him he can,”
Buck smiled gently at his daughter.
Julia blushed as she looked up at him. “May I?” she asked belatedly.
Buck laughed.
“Of course he’s welcome. He’s a
fine young man with a good head on his shoulders. And, apparently, a good job lined up.”
**********
“What’s goin’ on with you and my sister?”
“What?” Jamie asked, startled by the unexpected
question.
“You heard me,” Harry demanded. “What’s goin’ on with you two? I thought you
were finally gettin’ down ta some serious courtin’. Now she can’t seem ta stand bein’ in the same
room with you and is all excited about this Abe fella’s return.”
“Abe’s comin’ back?” Jamie asked in
surprise. “I thought he was off to start
a new job.”
“Turns out it don’t start ‘til next year and he wants
ta spend Christmas here. Sounds ta me
like he’s the one doin’ the courtin’ around here.”
Jamie turned away from his friend and started
raking up the hay from the stall with unnecessary vigor. “Julia’s her own woman. Does what she wants,” he grunted. “I can’t control her, no one can. Ya oughta know that by now.”
“I also know she’s been hankerin’ after you fer most
of her life,” Harry said. “So what’s
goin’ on?”
“You’d have ta ask her that,” Jamie said
shortly. “If she answers ya, I’d sorely love ta hear what she says, ‘cause she
ain’t talkin’ ta me. Now… ya gonna help
with chores or just chatter my ear off?”
**********
It was Christmas Day, one of her favorite
holidays of the year. Uncle Kid sat in
the corner surrounded by the younger children, dressed up like Santa, as he did
every year, handing out gifts. Her
entire family was here, including her oldest sister with her Cheyenne husband,
Grey Wolf, and their new baby. Even her
best friend from college was here, her eyes came to rest on Abe where he sat
with Victoria and Rose, laughing at something one of them had said. He looked up and caught her eye.
She shook her head, smiling sadly and turned
away to walk back to the kitchen to help her Ma with the last of the breakfast
preparations.
“Hey,” Abe called softly. “Don’t run away from me, too.”
She turned at the touch of his hand on her arm,
just as her Aunt Lou squealed, “Kiss!”
The rest of the room, or most of it anyway, took
up the chant, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” and Julia sighed in resignation as she
looked up at the mistletoe she’d forgotten about hanging in the doorway over
her head.
Abe laughed and leaned forward to kiss her
softly on the cheek. Julia blushed and
pushed him away as the rest of the room clapped, cheered, stomped and whistled
in appreciation. Her Aunt Lou took particular
glee in this tradition. Julia couldn’t
figure out why.*
“Let’s go for a walk,” she suddenly suggested.
Abe looked confused for a moment, then nodded in
agreement. It took them a bit to put on
their winter clothes, coats, hats, gloves, scarves, boots. The prairie winter had finally hit the week
before, chomping down on the land with a vengeance, dumping more than a foot of
snow on the ground overnight. And temperatures
had yet to warm up. They might not until
spring, now.
Despite the fact the walk was her idea, Julia
moved along in the white cloaked world without saying anything, turning an idea
over and over in her head as she stared without seeing at the horses snuffling
and stomping through the snow looking for grass.
Abe followed her meandering course through the
ranch buildings until they reached the main gate and she leaned up against the
fence, still without talking.
“You want to talk about it?” he finally asked.
“You remember how it used to be at Iowa State?”
she asked, answering his question with a question.
Abe laughed.
“Like I could ever forget.”
“It was the two of us against the world. We were the only ones who understood each
other. And no one bothered us about
being… together.” Julia stopped speaking
for a moment and looked down at her hands.
“In fact, they seemed to throw us together whenever they could, like
just happened back there.”
“Yep,” Abe agreed, nodding. “I had more than one classmate ask me when we
were going to tie the knot.”
“So how come we never….”
“Courted?” Abe asked, helping her finish the
sentence.
Julia nodded.
Abe shrugged.
“Just never felt… right.”
“But it could be… right,” she said. “If we actually gave it a try.”
“Maybe if you weren’t already in love with
someone else,” Abe said gently, maybe even a little sadly. “Someone who lives right across the yard, no
less.”
It was Julia’s turn to shrug.
“That ain’t goin’ nowhere,” she muttered. Abe winced at her sudden lack of diction, then
his eyes flew wide in surprise as she unexpectedly pushed up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his.
**********
Despite his best intentions, Jamie found himself
following Julia and Abe out of the house.
He kept his distance. He’d
promised himself that if she’d decided Abe was the one she wanted he’d butt
out. She had a right to choose for
herself. But that couldn’t kill the
morbid curiosity inside him. It was the
same part of him that had his fist flexing in anger when his mother had pushed
the couple into that embrace under the mistletoe. He wasn’t even sure who he’d wanted to hit
more at that moment, his mother for pushing that little game of hers -- he’d
seen the wicked light in her eye and knew she’d done it a purpose to push him
to action – Julia for allowing it to happen, Abe for participating or himself
for just sitting back and watching it all happen.
When the couple came to a stop at the front
gate, Jamie paused in the overhang of the last building, letting the early
morning shadows hide his presence from the other two. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but
could tell it was a pretty serious conversation from Julia’s body
language. He’d known her long enough he
could always tell how she was feeling, what she was thinking, by how she moved
and interacted with those around her. He
didn’t always know why, but he always knew what. That’s how he’d known that the last thing
she’d wanted these last couple of weeks was to have anything to do with him.
He stiffened as he saw her shoulders straighten
with resolve as she turned to face the tall black man at her side. Then she lifted her face up to his, placed
her hand on his chest and pushed up on tiptoe to press her lips to his.
The anger, fear and sense of loss he felt at
that moment twisted and curled inside his stomach until he felt he would throw
up last night’s supper. So. She’d made her decision. She’d made her choice. And he wasn’t what she wanted.
He knew if he stuck around for anymore he’d do
something they’d both regret. With a low
voiced curse, he turned and headed straight for the barn. Moments later he came bursting out again,
mounted on the young stallion she’d helped him train and raced away from the
ranch, jumping the fence around the main compound rather than go anywhere near
the couple by the front gate.
**********
Julia closed her eyes as she stepped up and
pressed her lips to Abe’s, praying that she’d get that same giddy feeling that
stole her breath away when she kissed Jamie.
But that wasn’t to be. Abe’s lips
were soft and fine against hers, but they didn’t make her wish they were
somewhere private or lose her sense of what was going on around her like
Jamie’s did.
So it was no surprise when Abe’s hands came up
and took a solid grip on her arms to push her away. He stood looking down at her for a moment,
before clearing his throat and speaking gently.
“I appreciate the thought,” he finally said,
“but I don’t think this is our time.”
She looked a question up at him.
“I’d be honored to court you, if you were free,”
he smiled. “But I think you need to figure
out what’s going on between you and that young man who just rode out of here
like the hounds of hell were after him.”
*This goes back to Fighting For Love and
Teaspoon’s last Christmas.
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