Chapter 7
Jamie looked down at the list in his
hands, double checking to make sure he had everything on it they’d need out at
the ranch for the next week. Coming in
to Tompkins’ store for supplies, even though the old man had retired and turned
the business over to his son a few years ago, was never Jamie’s favorite
activity. Alfred Tompkins may have had
his mother’s height and muscular build, but there was no doubt he was his
father’s son, through and through. A
more irascible, grumpy, curmudgeonly, skinflint couldn’t be found this side of
the Mississippi.
His eyes stopped as he checked the list
against the prices written in a skillful hand on the chalkboard behind the
counter. Ouch. The price of potatoes had gone up again. Maybe he should drop them from the list. They could survive without spuds for a few
weeks, give Tompkins’ time to re-think his price hike. Besides, Jamie thought
grimly to himself, he didn’t feel the need to provide Abe with any of his
favored foods. No reason to make the
damned interloper feel any more at home than he obviously already did. No telling how long he was going to stick
around, anyway. A little discomfort
might make him move on that little bit faster.
The tinkling of the bell over the door
at the front of the store drew his attention.
He turned and watched as Julia and her sisters, Rose and Victoria,
wandered into the mercantile, chattering and laughing like a flock of magpies.
A smile softened the potentially harsh
planes of his face as his eyes caressed hers gently. He hadn’t seen her, deliberately, in a couple
of days and he’d missed the sight. But
just the thought of her with her college ‘friend’ was more than he could
handle. He’d have lost it if he’d had to
watch them together, too. Much like
Tompkins, he’d inherited his father’s temper, complete with explosive anger
and, apparently, extremes of jealousy.
“Hm hmmm.”
Jamie flushed at the sound of Tompkins
clearing his throat from behind the counter and quickly turned back to face the
storekeeper.
“Is that it?” Tompkins asked
acerbically.
Another quick glance down at the paper
in his hand and Jamie nodded. They wouldn’t be needing any potatoes for a
couple weeks, at least.
“Just put it on our bill,” Jamie
said. “We’ll pay up, end of the month,
as always.”
Tompkins barely spared him a glance as
he rapidly calculated the total in his head, his pencil waving aimlessly in the
air as he did so, then wrote it down in a big, black ledger he’d pulled out
from under the counter. Looking up, he
nodded to a young boy stocking a nearby shelf.
“Hollis there’ll load this up in your
wagon,” he said.
Jamie nodded and turned, the chatter of
the three Cross girls still ringing in his ears. He started to walk toward
them, thinking to maybe catch Julia alone for a moment. But he checked his motion when he saw Abe walk
around the corner of the aisle behind them and hold something out to Julia, who
looked down at it and blushed through a laughing smile.
Feeling his stomach sink to his toes,
Jamie turned and walked down the next aisle, straight toward the door, as fast
as he could. In his hurry he never saw
Rose’s glance in his direction or the hurried, whispered conversation that
followed. Nor did he see the stricken
look on Julia’s face as the door closed firmly behind him.
**********
Julia had truly enjoyed the last couple
of days with Abe visiting. It had almost
been like having the carefree days of her college years back again, a time when
she didn’t have to worry with every word, every action that her entire future,
her every chance at happiness was at stake.
She’d be sorry to see him go. But
there’d been a cloud hanging over her the entire time. Jamie hadn’t looked at her twice since Sunday
dinner. And any time she came into a
room, he left it immediately. She couldn’t figure out what she’d done,
again, to make him turn away.
“Look, he’s here,” Victoria crowed. She pushed her sister gently, teasingly on
the shoulder. “You should go pin him
down before he can escape.”
Julia hid her pain and laughed at her
sister’s joke.
“Miss Julia?”
Abe’s deep baritone interrupted her
morose thoughts and she turned to him with a welcoming smile, glad for the
reprieve.
“There you are,” she greeted him. “All ready?
The stage should be here any minute.”
Abe nodded and pulled one hand out from
behind his back. “Almost. I just wanted to give you a small token of my
appreciation, for your hospitality these last few days, and your friendship
these last few years. You have no idea
what they’ve meant to me.”
He stared deeply into her eyes, almost
urgently, as he spoke. She fought the
urge to squirm away from his penetrating gaze.
To escape, she lowered her head and looked at the small, gaily wrapped
package he was handing her. It was
obviously a bottle of the expensive Wright Florida Water perfume Tompkins kept
stocked, but rarely sold.
Julia blushed a deep red as she realized
not only just how much Abe had spent on a gift for her, but that she didn’t
have anything for him.
“I.. I… I don’t know what to say,” she
stuttered, flabbergasted.
“You could start with ‘Thank you’,” he
suggested, smiling down at her.
“But… I wasn’t expecting anything…. I
don’t have….”
He reached out and pressed his fingers
against her lips, stopping the words she was too embarrassed to vocalize.
“Don’t,” he said softly. “I got this for you because I wanted to, not
in expectation of anything in return.
And, of course, you weren’t expecting anything. If you had been, you wouldn’t be the woman
who stood by my side all those years at school.
Now, why don’t you let her out and we’ll say our goodbyes,” he finished.
Julia had to laugh. For a man who’d been born a slave, he sure
had a courtly manner about him. Nodding,
she said, “Alright, then. Thank you.”
He grinned down at her, his teeth
flashing white in his dark face, as he held out a crooked arm for her to
take. She smiled as she slipped her hand
into his elbow. But her smile faltered
as she heard her sisters whispering behind her almost at the same time she
caught a glimpse of Jamie disappearing out the front door. Damn
it, she groaned inside. How was she supposed to court him when he
wouldn’t stand still long enough for her to do any courting?
She remained distracted, only
half-heartedly responding to Abe’s comments as he led her and her sisters out
to the stage stop. Her good-bye was a
mere formality as she continued to scan the street and boardwalk for any sign
of Jamie. But, he was nowhere to be
seen.
“Don’t worry,” Abe whispered to her,
seconds before boarding the stage. “It’ll all work out. You’ll see.”
She never heard his encouragement as she
patted him on the shoulder and stepped back so he could climb into the waiting
carriage. She was too busy wondering
what she’d done to scare Jamie off, again.
And how to fix things, if she even could.
**********
Julia remained distracted and downcast
on the trip back to the ranch, unable to join her sisters in their joyous,
carefree chatter. She was too busy
wondering what was going on with Jamie.
She had caught another fleeting glimpse of him as the stagecoach was
pulling out. He’d been standing by the
door to the saloon, his eyes fixed on her.
But as soon as she’d looked in his direction, he’d pulled his hat down
to shade his eyes and turned his back on her, entering the saloon. It was such a deliberate gesture of dismissal
she couldn’t help but be hurt.
“You coming?”
“What?!” Julia asked, startled out of
her reverie by her sister’s acerbic question.
She looked around her, confused, and realized they’d arrived back at the
ranch already. A couple of the younger
boys were busy unhitching the horses from the buckboard.
“Are… you…. coming?” Victoria asked in a
slow, distinct tone. Then she gestured
up at the Big House. “Inside? Or are you just going to sit here all day?”
“Uh… I think I’m going to take a ride,”
Julia muttered, climbing down off the buckboard and heading in the opposite
direction, toward one of the barns, with a determined stride.
It took only a few minutes to saddle up
her favorite mount in the dark confines of the stables. She mounted inside and rode her horse flying
out of the barn as if a ravenous horde of wolves bayed at her heels.
Once away from the ranch compound, she
let the horse have its head and tried to lose herself in the pounding rhythm of
its hooves as it galloped across the prairie.
**********
The sound of pounding hooves in the
distance distracted Carl from his contemplation of his various aches and
pains. He was pretty sure his dad had
broken his nose. He couldn’t remember if
this was the fourth or the fifth time. Not
that the count really mattered. The pain
made him irritable and cranky, to say the least.
Curiously, he searched the horizon,
wondering who would come flying through this desolate part of the back country
so fast and hard. It was the far edge of
his father’s property, the worst land in the county for trying to grow anything
on. He was loitering by a lonely stand
of trees, huddling against them to avoid the sharp prairie winds that sliced
straight through his thin winter coat.
It was too small and almost too old to really do him any good, but it
was all he had. And no way would he take
his hat in hand and go begging for someone’s leftovers at the church.
Eventually he saw the small form atop a
prime beast top a ridge to the west. By
the obvious quality of the animal alone he could tell the rider had come from
the Hotheads & Misfits Ranch. And what sort of a name was that for a ranch
anyway, he wondered sarcastically. The long tail of dark hair flying out
behind the rider made it clear she was a woman.
And she was too tall to be the Marshal, which meant it had to be one of
the older Cross girls.
His eyes narrowed as he realized that
and he watched her more intently. Soon
the horse slowed from its all out gallop to a cantor, a trot and, eventually, a
meandering walk. As it passed closest to
him he was finally able to make out the rider’s features enough to identify her
as Julia.
Just thinking her name, watching the way
she moved, almost unconsciously, in sync with her horse, made him break out in
a cold sweat. His heart began to pick up speed, beating faster and faster,
until he could barely breathe. He
couldn’t take his eyes off her as she crossed the prairie. When she was about to disappear over the horizon
he didn’t think twice, just turned to his old, broken down nag of a mount and
clambered up onto the gelding’s back. He
kicked it viciously in the sides to get it moving, following Julia’s path like
a panther trailing its prey.
**********
Julia had let the horse have its head,
racing across the prairie at top speed for awhile, trying to lose herself in
the moment, to forget the thousands of little self-doubts that kept stabbing at
her, slicing away at her confidence, leaving behind just gaping, bleeding
wounds, whenever she thought about Jamie.
When she realized her horse was tiring,
she pulled back on the reins, slowing it down until eventually the duo was
wandering almost aimlessly across the prairie as she continued her reverie.
A sudden lack of motion pulled her back
to reality. Looking around she realized
the horse had instinctually carried her to the swimming hole. Now it had stopped at the edge of the water
and was taking a long, deep drink.
Sighing, Julia dismounted. This was as good a place to think as any, she
figured as she tied the horse’s reins around a low hanging tree branch and
found herself a sheltered spot to sit down and rest a bit.
**********
When Julia hadn’t exited the wooded area
around the local swimming hole by the time Carl arrived, he stopped his horse
and dismounted. The weary, beleaguered
animal snorted in relief and immediately began snuffling around in the grass at
its feet. Carl didn’t bother to tie the
animal in place. It wasn’t going to go anywhere without a little… encouragement…
anyways.
Pushing his battered grey hat more
tightly down on his head, he ducked beneath the tree branches and began to
stealthily sneak toward the swimming hole itself.
It didn’t take him long to find
her. There was one particular spot,
where they’d all liked to gather as children and swing by a rope, yelling and
squealing in holy terror and glee, out over the water before letting go to
splash down into the cool depths. Even
in winter it was a nice spot to sit and think, just the right amount of sun,
sheltered from the wind, with a couple of fallen trees that made perfect
benches for sitting on. And that’s precisely where she was, staring out into
nothing, her cheek cradled in one hand, the elbow of that arm braced on her
knee as she sat slightly hunched over.
Carl paused to just drink in the sight
of her. She’d always been like a siren
call to him. He didn’t know if it was
his father’s opposition, well… hate, really, or her own decidedly sweet nature
that drew him. She was nice to everyone,
even the grubby little boy who didn’t have enough in his lunch pail to keep his
stomach from growling halfway through the afternoon. He’d started to fall in love with her the
first time she’d given him half her lunch, claiming she didn’t feel well but
didn’t want her ma to find out ‘cause she’d fuss and make her stay home from
school. She’d said he’d be doing her a
favor if he could finish it off for her.
He’d finished the fall the next day when she’d shown up with a lunch
twice its normal size and ‘accidentally’ left half of it behind for him to
‘find.’
He’d shown her in every way he knew how
he’d felt. He’d bossed her around,
pulled her pigtails, pushed her anytime he was near. But she’s always been so caught up in that
damned McCloud boy she’d never taken notice.
Of course, as he’d gotten older his tactics had changed, but the results
hadn’t. Jealousy took hold and he’d
started to let his father’s attitudes color his own actions. But, even then, it was like she never
noticed. And that frustrated him more
than anything. Didn’t matter what he
did, she never noticed. Well, maybe
she’d notice now. He’d developed into a
burly, grown man while she’d been off at her fancy school. He could make her notice him now.
Carl started to step forward, intent on
pushing his way through the last of the shrubbery and into the clearing, when
he heard another horse coming. A sudden
fear clutched at his gut and he slid noiselessly back into his hidey hole.
**********
Lou smiled gently as she pushed her way
past the last branches between her and Julia.
Her position was so reminiscent of the same one she was wont to find
Jamie in when he was thinking things over.
It just underscored how much these two were meant for each other.
Julia never moved or took any notice of
Lou’s approach, even as the older woman sat down on the fallen tree next to
her. The two sat side by side for
several moments, Lou occasionally smoothing her skirts or hair in her
perpetually restless inability to sit completely still.
“So, you done mopin’ and ready ta start
chasin’?” Lou asked after what she considered a decent waiting period.
“Wha?!” A startled Julia couldn’t even
complete a simple word in her shock. Her
mouth worked for a moment, but no sounds issued forth. Then, “What?
How? Where?”
“It’s my job, girl,” Lou laughed. “And you were a… touch distracted.”
Julia nodded and turned back to ponder
the empty, half frozen-over swimming hole.
“You ready to talk about it, child?”
Julia shrugged. “What’s there to say? I’ve failed.
And I haven’t the faintest idea why.”
“Oh, honey,” Lou smiled gently, wrapping
an arm around the younger woman’s shoulders.
“You’ve just begun to fight.”
Julia straightened in sudden interest,
frantically wiping the errant tears that had silently sparkled across her
cheeks.
“What.. what do you mean?” she asked,
her voice full of fearful hope.
“Is Jamie married to anyone?”
“Nooooo,” Julia answered, dragging the
word out in confusion.
“Then it ain’t too late,” Lou smiled
confidently.
Julia’s shoulders slumped in
defeat. “Don’t matter if I can’t catch
him to court him. He’s avoiding me like
I’m a leper or something.”
“Now you never had trouble finding ways
to spend time with him before,’ Lou said, hiding her grin. “I’d hazard a bet
you can figure out where he’s hiding. If
you really want to.”
“But… if he’s avoiding me…..”
“My dear, I doubt he really knows what
he wants at this time,” Lou reassured her.
“And the last thing you should do is try to change yourself to be what
you think he wants. Just…be yourself and
spend time with him. Everything else
will work itself out.”
Julia just looked at Lou in
bewilderment.
“Darlin’, you’ve been acting all
fancified since you got back. I know you
spent a lot of years learning how to act proper at school, but that can be a
bit off putting to folks that ain’t had the same trainin’. Like Jamie.”
Julia blanched.
“But… but… I did it for him!” she
wailed.
Lou patted her soothingly on the
shoulder. “I know dear. The thing is, I’ve learned in my life one
should only ever change oneself for oneself.”
Julia looked at her blankly, clearly
confused. Lou sighed.
“Shortly after Kid and I got married,
before we left for the War,” Lou started to explain, “I got it into my head
that I had to be the perfect wife, the perfect woman. By the rest of the town’s standards. Not mine or his. I made us both miserable. I hated wearing skirts even while riding or
doing barn chores. I never much liked
cooking and it just got worse the harder I tried. We were both miserable. Until one day he told me to just relax, do
what I want and be myself. He’d married
me, not some woman from town.”
Lou stopped speaking and just looked at
Julia in expectation.
“You mean…. there’s still a chance,”
Julia stated in hushed hope.
Lou smiled and nodded. “He’s loved you
for most of his life,” she said, hugging the girl closer to her once more. “I don’t see that changing. As long as you stay you.”
**********
Every word out of the Marshal’s mouth
was like an arrow, piercing straight through Carl’s heart. And each time Julia
said Jamie’s name, the bleeding wound turned a little bit more to stone as it
reminded him of all the times she’d put Jamie before anyone or anything else as
they’d all been growing up.
He didn’t hear the quiet growl that
crept up from his belly through his throat and out of his mouth, but he could
feel the hot, pulsing anger that created it taking him over. And this time, he let it spread because,
despite the burns it left behind, that was still less painful than the rips
she’d torn in his heart.
His Pa had been right. She was
nothin’ but a red whore, he thought viciously as his face twisted in a
sudden surge of hate.
He knew he couldn’t take the Marshal, so
he’d bide his time. But he’d get his
satisfaction off the injun gal for leading him on like that all those years and
then walking away while he was still hurting, still wanting. He’d get his satisfaction in more ways than
one.
**********
“Of course, you can’t do any courtin’,
when yer all the way out here and he’s back at the ranch,” Lou smiled, urging
Julia to her feet. “What say we start
headin’ back?”
As they walked toward their horses Julia
was obviously still thinking over what Lou had told her, not even really
watching where she was going.
The older woman smiled and decided to
offer one more piece of encouragement.
“You know,” she said offhandedly as they
mounted up, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jamie as jealous as he was when Abe
arrived. The boy could barely touch his
food. And you know nothin’ puts that child
off feedin’ time!” She laughed as she
spurred her horse into a cantor, Julia following behind, eagerly eating up her
words. “It’s either Love or the Pox, is
all I gotta say.”
There’s
a difference?
Julia thought wryly to herself. It sure didn’t
feel like it. But she couldn’t help
laughing, her hope in the future of her dreams restored.
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