Starting Over, Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Rock Creek

“Why don’t you sit down or go see her?” Teaspoon asked, a mite irritably, as he watched Jimmy jump up from his seat and wander over to the big plate glass window in the Marshal’s office to stare longingly across the street at the restaurant.

Jimmy turned back to his mentor and smiled sheepishly, before shrugging.  “Don’t know what ya mean,” he said as he strode back over to the table where Teaspoon had laid out their latest game of checkers.  “I was just waitin’ fer ya ta make yer next move.”

Teaspoon hmphed.  He knew a whopper when he heard one.  He’d made his ‘move’ five minutes ago.  But he wasn’t ready to call Jimmy on it yet.  It was his fondest wish to convince Jimmy to settle down in Rock Creek and take over as Marshal here.  The way Teaspoon figured it, Lydia was his best lure at the moment.  That boy was caught and caught but good.

Teaspoon watched as Jimmy’s hand hovered over first one checker piece, then another, as he surveyed the board trying to figure out which one to move.  Finally, he picked up one red piece and moved it a space.  Teaspoon hid a grin behind his hand as he ‘contemplated’ the board, then reached out to make his move, clearing it of all the red pieces left.

“I win,” he gloated.  “Again.”

Jimmy turned away.  “I’m tired of checkers.  Think I’ll stretch my legs a bit.  Make sure everythin’s calm ‘round town.”

Teaspoon watched the young men head out the door.  He knew where he was headed.  Straight across the street to Jarvis’ Restaurant.  Or should he say, Lydia?

He was so lost in thought he didn’t hear the bell over the entrance jangle when someone came through the door, not until he cleared his throat.  Teaspoon jumped and turned toward the sound, a hand already resting on the hilt of his gun, to see what was going on, who was coming in.

Teaspoon started to relax when he saw it was Buck, until he saw the look on Buck’s face.  Suddenly worried, he stood up.  “What is it, son?”

Buck held out a piece of paper to Teaspoon wordlessly, his normally well tanned face almost sheet white.  “This just come in from a friend of mine over in Grand Island.”

Taking the paper, Teaspoon scanned the scant lines quickly.  Then slowly re-read them, the blood draining from his own face.  Suddenly he was in motion, heading out the door.

“Head on over ta Lydia’s place,” he ordered over his shoulder as he left.  “Make sure Jimmy stays there.  I’m gettin’ Teresa and the children.  We’ll be along shortly.”

Buck nodded and was soon loping across the street in one direction while Teaspoon was trotting away in the other.

**********

“What’s this all about?” Jimmy demanded the second Teaspoon stepped into the restaurant kitchen through the back door, herding Teresa, Mary Kate and Carl, Jr, ahead of him.

“You didn’t tell them?” Teaspoon asked, looking at Buck.

“Figured it was best ta wait ‘til we were all here and go through this just once,” he said, shaking his head.

Teaspoon sighed, running a hand over his face.  “The short of it is… Louise’s ruse didn’t work.”

“We all know that, Teaspoon,” Jimmy complained.  “Hell, I shot two of them myself!”

“One,” Lydia said quietly from her place by the stove where she was closely watching her day’s creation.  “I shot the other one.”

Jimmy whipped his head around to start arguing but the words stopped, caught in his throat, when he glimpsed the warning glare on Teaspoon’s face.  Holding up his hands in a gesture of peace, he leaned back against the table Lydia used for cutting and prepping food, and waited.

“I meant the way we’ve been shuffling folks around, had you ladies dressing like Lou, tryin’ ta make them think Lou was still in hiding here,” Teaspoon explained.  “Friend of Buck’s in the telegraph office in Grand Island intercepted a message that seems ta be from them.  They’re on Lou an’ Kid’s trail, plannin’ ta ambush ‘em just outside Grand Island, ‘fore they kin get ta Fort Kearny.”

Jimmy was already moving toward the door by the time Teaspoon had finished.

“Where do you think yer goin’, young man?” Teaspoon demanded.

Jimmy stopped and looked back at the others, bewildered.  “After ‘em.  They’re gonna need our help.”

Teaspoon smiled at the boy that was most like him in so many ways and walked over to clap a hand on his shoulder.  “That’s true, son.  But they don’t need us runnin’ off hotheaded an’ not thinkin’ things through.”

Jimmy sighed, tossing his head, his long locks swishing behind him at the movement.  “You’ve got a plan, don’t ya?”

“I see ya ain’t fergot all I taught ya,” Teaspoon grunted, pleased.

“And I ain’t gonna like it, am I?”

“Not particularly,” Teaspoon agreed.   “Then again, neither is Buck.”

“What’s the plan already,” Buck asked impatiently.

“You, me and Teresa are gonna ride out after ‘em.  We’ll take extra horses so’s we don’t have ta stop an’ kin catch up with ‘em ‘bout the time they should be hittin’ Grand Island.”

“But what about me?  What am I s’posed ta do?” Jimmy practically whined.

“James, the children,” Lydia said quietly.

Jimmy looked over at her, then glanced at the two youngsters huddled close to Teresa’s skirts.  Frowning in confusion, he looked back at Teaspoon, who was nodding in Lydia’s direction.

“I always admired a lady with a sharp mind, ma’am,” he complimented, tipping his hat in her direction.

Still confused, Jimmy looked back at the kids, taking in their tight little faces.  Instinctively he held out his arms to them and they rushed over to him, swarming up his sides until he held one securely in each arm, their little faces tucked in under his chin.

Teaspoon turned back to Jimmy and laughed.  “Seem’s I picked the right man fer the job, too.”

“Just spit it out already,” Jimmy growled fiercely, even as he cuddled the youngsters gently.

“We’re staying behind, as the two best shots, to protect them,” Lydia said calmly, without looking up from the sauce she was stirring constantly.  She reached down with one hand to pat the butt of the pistol she wore incongruously strapped to her hip over her dress in the middle of the kitchen.  “While the rest ride off to rescue Lu and Louise.”

“Oh.”

“Quite right, ma’am,” Teaspoon agreed.  “Cain’t take no chances they’ve left a rearguard behind ta try ta snatch my little granddaughter here.  And I ain’t takin’ no chances at makin’ Louise mad at me by not leavin’ the best there is ta protect her.”

Reaching out he chucked Mary Kate under the chin, grinning as he surreptitiously left a piece of candy in each child’s hand.  The little girl peeked a grin at him through her bangs.

**********

Dobytown, three miles west of Fort Kearny

Nolan Wolfard, Wolf to his friends, if you could really call them that, swung off the back of the nag he’d been riding and left it standing in front of the hitching post.  He really hoped someone did steal it, but probably wouldn’t get that lucky.  Sauntering slowly, he made his way into the first of a string of saloons and whorehouses along the main street of Dobytown.

He could only afford tanglefoot, as General Sherman had once dubbed the awful, third rate whiskey most places served here, but it would serve to dull the pain of his chipped and broken, rotting teeth.  And maybe he could scrape together the two bits needed for a quick round with one of the tarts down in the cribs while he waited for the others to show up.

A grin crossed his face.  He sure hoped they managed to catch that upstart hoyden alive.  He’d like to teach her how a proper woman acts.  Suddenly, he changed his mind about the stop at the saloon and, turning on his heel, headed straight for the cribs filled with available women, willing or not.

**********

Rock Creek

Jimmy sat at the kitchen table Lydia used to chop, dice, score and otherwise dissect meats, vegetables, fruits and anything else she decided to toss into the day’s menu.  At his elbow sat a plate with a couple scattered crumbs from a morning pasty she’d made.  Jimmy rested his chin on his clasped hands on the tabletop and just watched as she moved gracefully from the table to the stove to the sink and back again, deftly stepping around the two children setting up dominoes on the floor.  He enjoyed the treats she kept pushing on him, asking him taste this and test that.  But he particularly liked to watch her move, especially when she bent over to slide something or other into the oven.  He’d seen those bustles women were starting to wear in the big cities to make their nether regions look more…. plush.  But his Lydia didn’t need any of that.  She was plenty… plush… all on her own.

The thought stopped him.  And he stepped back to check it over from all sides.  He wasn’t sure how or when, but yes, she had become ‘his’ at some point over the last few days.  Not that he quite knew what to do with her now that he had her.  Thinking back to those long ago days in the Express when he’d scoffed at Kid’s concerns over how to move forward with Lou, he regretted his cavalier attitude.  He completely understood, now, what Kid had been going through.

“Noooooo!”

Jimmy’s head popped up, his hand moving immediately toward the gun on his right hip at the sound of Lydia’s angered screech.  Jumping to his feet, he watched as the platter she’d just piled high with cookies tumbled to the floor, the cookies rolling this way and that, trailing crumbs in their wake.  In her effort to catch the platter, or maybe rescue some of the cookies, Lydia tripped over her own feet, tangled up in her skirts and followed the lot to the floor.

“Owwww!” came the second, this time agonized, screech.

Rushing to her side, Jimmy asked, “Are you alright?”

“Does it look like I’m alright,” she ground out, leaning forward to push her skirts out of the way and examine her ankle.

“What happened?”

“I twisted my damned ankle, that’s what,” she muttered. 

Squatting down in front of her, he took her foot from her grasp and rested it on his thigh.  Running his hands up and down the foot, around the ankle and even, daringly, up her calf a bit, he carefully examined it.  He tried, he really did, to keep his thoughts, and hands, on the injury.  But, in all honesty, he soon found both wandering much further up her leg than was necessary. 

“Mr. Hickok,” she said sternly.

Jerking out of his reverie, he looked up to meet her brilliant green eyes, shadowed with fresh pain and mild amusement.  “Looks like you just sprained it.  I’ll get some bandages from Teaspoon’s office ta wrap it up and you should be able to move around.  Just try to stay off it as much as you can to keep the swelling down.”

“Take these children with you, before I murder them,” Lydia hissed to Jimmy, hiding her anger from the children as best she could.  “I am so sick and tired of stumbling over them and their toys while trying to do my job.  Take them fishing, or something, anything.  Just get them out of here.  I’ll take over watch when I get off work.”

Holding up his hands by his head in a peace gesture, Jimmy  nodded.  “Yes, ma’am.  Two children out from under foot coming right up.”  He stood up to his full height and leaned down to lend her a hand.  “But let’s get you up on your feet first.”

He pulled her upright with a little more force than necessary, letting the momentum throw her against his chest.  Her hands came up to catch herself as she slammed forward, trapping them between them.  A pity.  He would much rather have had other parts of her squished up against him, he thought recklessly.

Without conscious thought, his arms closed around her, pulling her even closer, as he stared down into those eyes that reminded him of a quiet cool forest on a hot summer day.  He just wanted to tear off all the trappings of the world and dive in as naked as the day he was born.  He felt like he was drowning.  Slowly, ever so slowly, he began to lean in toward her, eager to capture her lips with his.

“Are you gonna kiss my Ma?”

Jimmy froze as a little hand tugged at the fringe of the black frock coat he was wearing.  Looking down in surprise, he found Carl staring up at him with a serious little face.  Jimmy cleared his throat, not quite sure how to answer the boy.

“’Cause if you are, you better ask permission, first.”

Leaning down so he was at eye level with the youngster, Jimmy quite seriously asked, “And just who would I ask permission of?  You?”

“Well…” the boy paused as he considered the problem.  “Yes, I suppose so.  I am her closest male relative.”

“May I kiss yer Ma, young sir?” Jimmy intoned with all seriousness.

Carl gazed at Jimmy for a long moment, making the taller man suddenly nervous, then turned to look up at his Ma.  Seeing the blush on her cheeks and the slight smile on her mouth, he looked back at Jimmy and said, “Yes, you may kiss her and make it all better.”

Having settled the matter in his young mind, he turned back to the line of dominoes he’d abandoned and resumed setting them up.

**********

“Looks like they’re headed to Dobytown,” Buck said, standing from where he’d been examining a set of horse tracks headed west across the prairie.  “But at least one splits off and keeps headin’ toward Grand Island after Kid and Lou.”

“What do we do, Teaspoon?” Teresa asked.  “There ain’t enough of us ta split up, not with a gang like this.”

“Well, we know they’re plannin’ an ambush and we know where Lou and Kid are headed,” Teaspoon said.  “Somethin’ they don’t.  They gotta wait on their drag rider ta come back with that info.  So I say we follow the main group, see what we can learn ‘bout their plans, then go warn Lou and Kid.”  Teaspoon paused, looking from Teresa to Buck and back again.  “Unless anyone else’s got a better idea.”

When neither had anything to say, they mounted up and rode out.

**********

Dobytown

Smack!  The sound of the slap reverberated through the room.

“Shut yer caterwaulin’ woman,” Nolan grumped.  “I paid ya fair and square fer yer time.  Don’t know what yer fussin’ ‘bout.”

Standing up, he pulled his pants up, hooking the suspenders over his shoulders to hold them in place before beginning to button them closed.  Grabbing his hat on his way out the door, he looked back at the two bit whore he’d just spent the last hour with.  She wasn’t nothing to look at, especially not compared with the little tomboy he planned to teach a lesson next, but she’d took her place well enough.  Watching her cower in the corner, wailing over a few slaps, he shook his head in wonder.  He’d never understand women, he thought, pushing his hat down on his head and stepping out into the late afternoon sunshine.

Moving back toward the saloons lining the main street of the small, wild, lawless town, Nolan smiled to himself.  There was something invigorating about places like these.  They just got the blood racing.  Or maybe that was the slattern he’d just spent time with, he grinned to himself.  No matter.  Either way he felt damned good.

He pushed his way into the third saloon along the walkway.  It was a dingy place called, a little fantastically, the Double Diamond.  The only diamonds to be found in there were on the faces of playing cards.  If then.

But what you could find there were men who were willing to do just about anything, even kill a woman, for the right place.  And that’s what Nolan Wolfard needed at that moment.

Chapter 19

Sweet Song

Summary:  If he won't take you to the dance, is he really still your guy?  What other possible reason could there be?

Author's note:  This is #9 in the Sweetwater Romance series, after Not So Sweet Freedom. It falls in the first half of the Season 3 episode, The Presence of Mine Enemies.

“What?!”

“You heard me,” he said quietly.  “I ain’t escortin’ ya to the dance, Lou.”

“I… I don’t understand,” she finally said quietly, hurt deepening the tones of her voice.  “Is this ‘cause of that kiss with Jimmy?  I tol’ ya it didn’t mean nothin’.  I wouldn’t’a told ya a’tall ‘cept we promised ta tell each other everythin’.”

“I know, Lou,” Kid sighed.  “I know.  And it ain’t that.  Not really.  Well, not completely, anyways.”

“So you are punishin’ me,” she stated, dejected as she slumped down onto her bunk.  Shortly after moving to the new station at Rock Creek, Teaspoon had decided she should have the individual bunk, instead of sharing with one of the boys.  She liked the freedom it gave her, no more worrying about banging her head on the ceiling and all.  But she missed knowing Kid was asleep just below her, that sense of closeness they’d had, even when they’d been the furthest apart.  Now, she could feel the chasm opening beneath her again and this time there was no lower bunk to catch her.  She’d known she should’ve kept that stupid kiss with Jimmy to herself.  “Wasn’t like I was even the one doin’ the kissin’,” she murmured to herself.

“I know that, Lou.  Really, I do.  Both you and Jimmy have made it perfectly clear.  It’s just…. well….” he paused, not sure how to go on.  “Well, it got me to thinkin’.”

“Heaven help us,” Lou muttered.

“Thing is, by the time you was old enough ta really be interested in courtin’, you was livin’ and actin’ like a boy,” Kid started trying to explain himself, pacing back and forth in front of her.  “Then I found out and we started…. well… we started whatever this is we’ve got going.  But…” he paused and turned to face her.  “What if it’s just ‘cause I was the only one available?  The safe one?  The one ya knew wouldn’t tell?”

“Kid, it ain’t like that,” she tried to explain.  “I mean, sure, ya had a few weeks over the others, but they knew pretty quick, too, and didn’t tell.  I didn’t go runnin’ ‘round kissin’ all them, dancin’ with them, at dances or anywhere else.”

She stood up and reached out, grabbing the front of his shirt in one hand to stop his incipient pacing and pull him closer to her.

“You’re the only one I want ta dance with,” she whispered up at him.  “Tonight, in town, in front of everyone else, or anywhere it’s just the two of us.”

Kid sighed and gently pushed her away.  “That ain’t what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, Lou.  I gotta know.  I gotta know that what we got… it’s real.  It’ll survive you bein’ out there around other men what see you like I do, as a pretty woman they’d like ta spend time with.  I ain’t forgot ‘bout that insurance man ya took such a likin’ to.”

Lou pulled back, hurt at the zinger.  “Maybe it’s you yer wonderin’ ‘bout,” she spat, taking refuge in anger to block out the pain.  “Maybe yer wonderin’ if ya really want ta spend time with a tomboy like me.  Ya want ta see what it’s like ta smile and flirt with all them gals in town that’re always battin’ their eyelashes at ya.”

She whirled around and dashed for the door, unwilling to let him see the tears fall that were already forming in her eyes.

“Lou!” he called after her, frustrated.  But she ignored the pleading sound in his voice.  He watched her run across the yard and disappear into the barn.  Was she right?  Did he want the chance to spend time with other women?  No, he shook his head, ruthlessly suppressing the memory of a slender blonde with corkscrew curls and the guilt that went with it.  She’d certainly forgotten him the moment he’d left the county.  She was indubitably happily married to one of the rich swains in town, pleasing her persnickety Pa and playing house.  But the memory also reassured him.  He’d had real sweethearts before.  He knew the difference between how that had felt and this.  But how to make Lou understand, that’s what he couldn’t figure out.

**********

“I don’t know why we’re even botherin’,” Lou grumped, as she stood on the step stool, Rachel kneeling at her feet, her mouth full of straight pins.  Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she added, “I might as well not even go to this danged dance.  Cain’t go with the boys, Kid doesn’t want me ta go as his girl.  Might as well go ahead and go in my Sunday suit, like usual.”

Rachel sighed and pulled the pins out of her mouth.  “Would you stand still!  I’ll never get this hem even if you get dancing around like that.  Save the fancy footwork for the dance floor.”

“I give up,” Lou whined, stepping off the stool and plopping unceremoniously down on the settee in Rachel’s parlor.  “It ain’t worth all this trouble.  I’ll just take the run that day.  Save everyone the headache of worryin’ ‘bout ‘Poor ol’ Louise.’”

Rachel put the pins back in her sewing basket then came over to sit next to Lou.  She stretched one arm around the distraught girl’s shoulders.

“Want to talk about it?”

Lou just looked at her and then burst into tears.

“Oh, darling, it can’t be all that bad,” Rachel murmured, pulling the girl into a hug.

“He don’t want me no more,” Lou wailed.  “He wants me ta dance with other boys.  He thinks I don’t know what I want, just ‘cause I didn’t shoot Jimmy fer kissin’ me.  I can’t shoot Jimmy, he’s my best friend.”

Rachel laughed softly, gently caressing Lou’s hair to comfort her.

“Somehow I doubt that’s what Kid’s after,” she said.  “He’s been planning and plotting for this dance as much as you have.”

Lou sat up, shaking her head violently from side to side.  “Not no more, he ain’t.”

“Tell me about it,” Rachel encouraged.

Soon, the words began spilling out of Lou’s mouth, tripping over each other in their eagerness to see the light of day.  Lou told Rachel everything, from the trip escorting Elias Mills to his hanging, how he’d gotten to all of them, but especially Jimmy, how she’d tried to comfort Jimmy and ended up letting him kiss her, how she’d told Kid about it and now, how Kid was suddenly saying they couldn’t go to the dance together.

“Did you ever think maybe Kid has a point?” Rachel asked, as gently as she could.

“What do you mean?”

“Louise, have you ever even looked at another boy romantically?”

“Well….” Lou began to hedge, then stopped at the warning look Rachel gave her.  “Not really.  There was this boy I had a crush on back when I was in school, before my Ma left my Pa.  His Pa worked for mine.  He was…. cute.”

“But you were children.”

Lou shrugged, not willing to answer, to admit that maybe Rachel, and thus Kid, was right, but unable to deny the truth.

“Still don’t matter,” she muttered.  “If I cain’t go with Kid, ain’t no sense in goin’ as a girl, in goin’ period.”

“Why not?” Rachel asked exasperatedly, sitting back to get a better look at Louise, who now sat, arms crossed over her chest, a mutinous set to her mouth.

Lou ducked her head, ashamed.  Speaking to her toes, she said, “I cain’t dance.”

“What was that?” Rachel asked, leaning closer.  “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I cain’t dance,” Lou practically shouted.  “There, happy?  I said it.  I cain’t dance.  I cain’t flirt.  Heck, I don’t even remember most of the table manners my Ma taught me, I spent so much time fightin’ Cody fer my share of supper.  I can barely walk in a dress.  I’m so used ta pants I spend all my time trippin’ over my own skirts.  The only reason I like dressin’ up right now is ‘cause… well… I like how Kid looks at me when I do.”

Out of breath, Lou let her tirade trail off.  Rachel started laughing.  She laughed so hard she had to hold her stomach.  Lou looked at her in a mixture of betrayal and wonder.  Finally, Rachel got herself back under control and, wiping tears from her the corner of her eye, said, “Well, if that’s all, I don’t see the problem.”

Lou just stared.

“You just come on over here to the house every evening after dinner,” Rachel said.  “We’ll practice all the skills you need to properly set Kid, and all the other boys, on their ears next week.”

“And the dancin’?” Lou asked plaintively.  “What ‘bout that?  The only man I ever danced with was Kid…”

She stopped speaking at Rachel’s raised eyebrow and blushed wildly.

“Not that type of dancin’,” she hissed, almost more annoyed then embarrassed.  “But, neither one of us really knew how ta dance.  We just watched Teaspoon and then kinda made things up as we went along.  I cain’t exactly do that with the boys from town.”

“No, I don’t suppose you could,” Rachel agreed.  “But I think you’ve already hit on the solution.”

Louise quirked an eyebrow in question.

“Teaspoon?” Rachel explained.  “I’d be willing to bet he’d be perfectly happy to teach you how to dance proper.  I’d do it myself, but it’s always better for a woman to learn from a man, and vice versa.”

“Do you think he would?” Lou asked, suddenly eager.

**********

Kid sighed as he watched Lou scurry off again after supper.  It had been this way for the last week.  Ever since he’d tried to talk to her about the upcoming dance, she’d been giving him the cold shoulder.  When she’d been around, that was.  He’d actually hardly ever seen her.  It seemed if she wasn’t out on a run, she was running out, somewhere.  He’d thought about following her, to see what she was up to, but was fighting hard to keep his promise not to hover and crowd her.  It was hard though.

Even as he watched the barn door swing shut behind her, he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder.  Turning, he looked back to see Rachel behind him, a smile lighting her face.

“You ready?” she asked.

“Sure,” he shrugged.  “Though I don’t know why I keep this up.  Looks like it’s a waste of my time.  She won’t even talk to me right now.”

“She’ll get over it,” Rachel assured him.  “And be ever so pleased when you show her what you’ve learned.”

“If you say so,” he sighed.  Holding out his hands in the stiff position she’d taught him, he waited for her to step into his arms, one slim hand resting in his, the other on his shoulder.  She began to hum a simple melody and they moved in tandem to the beat.

Soon, both were singing the words to the song, “There’s a yellow rose in Texas, that I am going to see….”

**********

“Nobody else could miss her, not half as much as me,” Teaspoon’s baritone rolled over Lou as he swung her around the barn floor.  “She cried so when I left her, it like to broke my heart.  And if I ever find her, we nevermore will part.”

Lou laughed, enjoying the feeling of floating on air that she always got when dancing.  She’d thought it was being held in Kid’s arms.  Turned out it was just the dancing itself.  She loved it., almost as much as galloping across the prairie.

Eventually, the song ended and Teaspoon stepped back, holding on to her hand as he swept her a deep bow.  She carefully fell into a similarly deep curtsey in acknowledgement.  Luckily, she could use his hand to maintain her balance.  Otherwise, she still wasn’t good enough to curtsey without falling on her own, it was such an awkward maneuver.

“I do believe you’re ready, my dear,” he intoned formally.

“Do you really think so?” she asked.  “This is fun, but is this it?”

“Any boy asks you ta do any other dance and you give him what fer,” Teaspoon said in a playfully fierce voice.  “Maybe you should wear yer Colt underneath yer skirts.  Just in case.”

Lou laughed lightly.  Although she was still miffed at Kid, she was definitely back to looking forward to tomorrow night’s dance.

**********

Ike sat, staring down at the paper in front of him, looking up at his brothers and sister, all spiffied up for the dance, then back down to place a few careful pencil marks here and there.

Louise, impatient as always, shifted on the bench where she sat sandwiched between the Kid and Jimmy.  Jimmy looked down at her with a raised brow.  But she just ignored him.  Reaching up with one hand, she again tried to tidy the hair she and Rachel had spent more than an hour arranging.

“Ike, I’m gettin’ tired sittin’ here,” she complained.  Twisting her mouth in a grimace, she sighed again.

“Ike,” Jimmy called, trying to get their brother’s attention.  “How long is this gonna take?”

Feeling the Kid moving on her other side, Lou looked over as he reached up with a handkerchief to wipe sweat off the back of his neck.

“I’ve been smilin’ so long I don’t think I can stop,” he half groaned.

“That’s alright, Kid,” she said in a superior tone.  “I’m sure the girls will love it.”

He dropped his arm to turn and look at her in exasperation, obviously wanting to pick up their… discussion… from earlier, but reluctant to do so in front of their family.  She smothered the grin that wanted to plaster itself across her face at that small victory.

The sound of Ike banging on the table distracted them from their brewing disagreement, to the relief of Noah, Buck and Cody standing behind them.  Looking in his direction, they acknowledged his motions and reluctantly Kid put the handkerchief back in a pocket and Lou set the brush down on the table.

“Alright,” she sighed.  “Alright.”

“Ike,” Noah spoke up from behind her.  “You sure you don’t want ta come along now?”

“Yeah,” Jimmy encouraged.  “Just ‘cause Emily ain’t comin’ don’t mean you can’t have a good time.”

Suddenly, Ike shifted backward in his seat, holding the drawing he was working on up to the light and nodded slightly to himself.

“Is that it?” Kid asked eagerly.

Ike looked up, smiled enigmatically and nodded again.  Finally released from their poses, they all sprang up and rushed toward the door.  Lou tried to catch a sneak peak at Ike’s drawing on her way out, but Ike pushed her away.

**********

“You can do this, Louise,” Rachel encouraged, walking down the boardwalk slowly, arm in arm with the younger girl.  “Just relax and be yourself.  They’re going to love you.”

“I don’t care if they love me, hate me or anythin’ in between,” Lou said.  “Just so long’s they’ll dance with me, they can think whatever they want.”

“Well, not all of them,” Rachel said slyly.  “There’s at least one young man in there who’s eye you’re hoping to catch tonight.”

“Maybe,” Lou said loftily.  “Ain’t so sure no more.”

Rachel laughed.  “Oh, you’re sure alright, or you wouldn’t be so miffed about all this, let alone carrying that chip on your shoulder so high.”

Together, they stepped into the school house, which had been cleared out, all the desks and chairs carefully stacked up out back, for the dance.  Stopping just inside the door, they took the time to survey the room.  A group of townsfolk who played instruments had gathered at the end of the room, up on the slightly raised dais where the teacher’s desk usually sat.  They were busily tuning their instruments and discussing which songs to play.  Several ladies were setting out cakes, pies and other goodies on a table along one wall, while Teaspoon stood near the door, ready to stop anyone who tried to walk in with a gun and confiscate it.  He was dapperly dressed in a black suit and hat, which he tipped to each of the ladies as they entered the room.

Suddenly, the music got underway and Lou unconsciously found her way to her usual spot during a dance, holding up a wall, swaying slightly to the delightful music.

“Um, miss?”

Lou turned at the sound of a masculine voice coming from her side.

“May I have the pleasure of this dance?”

She laughed to see Teaspoon standing there, hat in one hand, the other held out toward her in supplication.  She reached out and put her hand in his and curtsied.

Using her best southern bell accent, she replied, “Why ah would be honored to dance with you, sir.”

Soon, she found herself being twirled expertly around the room.  She tried to keep track of all her ‘brothers’, not to mention, Kid.  But the effort of keeping up with Teaspoon’s high spirited movements took most of her energy and soon had her laughing and breathless, all at the same time.  Although at one point, she did notice Kid and Jimmy over by the punchbowl talking to some of the boys from town.  The knowing grins on their faces confused her for a moment as she spun past in Teaspoon’s arms, but she let the thought go, enjoying herself too much to worry about them at the moment.

As the music changed from one song to another, she found herself spun from one side of the schoolroom to the other, out of Teaspoon’s arms and into Cody’s.  Cody turned out to be just as good on the dance floor as Teaspoon was.

The night quickly became a blur of faces after that, as one young man after another asked her to step out with him.  The first few she tried to remember their names, just to be polite, but eventually gave up.  Since, by convention, no one man could dance more than once or twice with her in a row, without declaring his intentions, it was impossible to keep track of them all.

Once again the music changed.  This time the familiar strains of The Yellow Rose of Texas began to ring through the room.  Unexpectedly, Louise suddenly found herself pleasantly alone for a moment.  Taking the chance to catch her breath, she moved over to the punch bowl and dished up a glass.  Reminding herself to drink it in dainty sips, instead of gulping it down like she wanted, she turned slowly to survey the room and jumped when she found Kid right behind her.

Smiling down at her, he said formally, “May I have the honor of this dance?”

His words took her back to that first dance in Sweetwater, oh so long ago, it seemed.  She’d been standing on the fringes, watching the girls in their pretty dresses, wishing she could be one of them.  Now she was.  Oh how times had changed.  So many, many things had changed.  But one thing, that hadn’t.  She still couldn’t resist his plea, even though she should.

Ducking her head shyly, she whispered, “You may.”

Reaching out, he took her hand in his and led her out onto the dance floor.  Soon, they were swinging around the room to the beat of the music.  At first, they just enjoyed the dance, each surprised at the other’s sudden skill.

“When did you learn to dance?” Lou finally asked.

“Last week,” Kid grinned down at her.  “Rachel taught me.”

She started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Teaspoon taught me,” she said.  “Last week!”

That quickly, that easily, their tiff over the dance was over and all was right between them once again.

Nothing Sweet: Lou (#10)

The Yellow Rose of Texas

There's a yellow rose in Texas, that I am going to see,

Nobody else could miss her, not half as much as me.

She cried so when I left her, it like to broke my heart,

And if I ever find her, we nevermore will part.

She's the sweetest little rosebud that Texas ever knew,

Her eyes are bright as diamonds, they sparkle like the dew;

You may talk about your Clementine, and sing of Rosalee,

But the yellow rose of Texas is the only girl for me.

When the Rio Grande is flowing, the starry skies are bright,

She walks along the river in the quiet summer night:

I know that she remembers, when we parted long ago,

I promise to return again, and not to leave her so.

Oh now I'm going to find her, for my heart is full of woe,

And we'll sing the songs together, that we sung so long ago

We'll play the banjo gaily, and we'll sing the songs of yore,

And the yellow rose of Texas shall be mine forevermore.

Not So Sweet Freedom

Summary:  Sometimes growing up means learning to let others care about you, too.

Author's Note:  This is part 8 of the Sweetwater Romance series.  It comes after Sweet Spot and bookends the third Season 3 episode, Blood of Others. 

“Listen, boys, you need to be extra careful the next few runs,” Teaspoon warned the group of riders gathered around the table, waiting for dinner.

“Tell us somethin’ we don’t know,” Cody grumbled.  “The Paiute are mad as hell about this latest treaty.”

“Well, if the Army would ever bother to figure out a chief can only speak for the warriors who’ve agreed to follow him,” Buck said in exasperation, “and stop trying to hold other bands to a treaty their chief hasn’t signed, things wouldn’t get like this.”

“I know, Buck, I know,” Teaspoon sighed tiredly.  “But that don’t change the situation we have on our hands in the here and now.”

“What situation?” Lou asked curiously as she walked through the bunkhouse door.  She wondered if there’d been a new development in the latest indian troubles that she hadn’t heard about yet.  Removing her hat, she hung it up on its peg, next to her gunbelt, but kept her eyes expectantly on Teaspoon.

He waved a hand in front of his face, as if waving the whole previous discussion away.  Clearing his throat, he said, “Listen, Louise, I’ve been wantin’ ta talk ta ya.”

She moved over to stand by the table, next to the man she’d come to think of as a father.  “Well, here I am.”

“Ah, yeah.”  His eyes flickered to each of the boys at the table as they shifted uncomfortably in their seats.  Their behavior had Lou raising a suspicious eyebrow.  “Look,” he finally said, “I need someone ta pick up a special pouch fer me in Craig.”

“But, Noah’s up next fer a special run,” Lou protested.

She was as aware as the rest of them of the dangers the trail west currently posed, and had a bad feeling this ‘special assignment’ was make-work, designed to keep her out of the danger zone.  She narrowed her eyes slightly as she took in the nervous mannerisms of Buck, Cody and Noah.  Kid was looking at his hands, fiddling with his harmonica.  Even Teaspoon looked like he wanted to run for the hills.

“I know, Lou,” he reasoned.  “But that’s out by yer brother and sister.  I figgered ya could leave tomorrow, spend a couple days visitin’ them, then pick up the pouch when it’s ready end of the week and bring it on back.”  Feeling he’d provided a sound case for his decision, Teaspoon sat up a little straighter and ran his hands under his suspenders, snapping them back against his chest in satisfaction.  Grinning, he finished, “It’s no more’n I’d do fer any of the other boys if they had family out that way.”

Each of her brothers started nodding eagerly in agreement.

“He’s right, Lou,” Noah said cheerfully.

But Kid still wouldn’t look up, confirming her suspicions of a conspiracy.

“Yeah, right,” she growled, glaring dourly at the lot of them.  Turning away from the table, she marched toward the door, back stiff, head held high.  She paused only long enough to grab her hat off its peg and slam it down on her head.

“Where ya goin’, Lou?” Cody asked.  “Rachel’ll be out with dinner any minute now.”

Not bothering to turn around, she spat out through gritted teach, “I ain’t hungry.  Tell Rachel I’ll be back later ta help with the dishes like I promised.”

She put extra emphasis on the word promised, wanting them to know just how betrayed she felt at that moment.  After that fiasco with the Pike brothers she’d thought she’d put an end to this sort of nonsense.  Without another word, she slipped through the door, letting it slam shut behind her with extreme prejudice.

The five males at the table all jumped guiltily at the sound.

**********

“Lou?”

“What do you want, Kid?” she snapped, never slowing the quick, jerky movement of her arms as she shoveled manure violently out of a stall.

“To apologize,” he said quietly.  “That didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped.”

This stopped her motions.  She straightened to her full five feet three inches of height, tightened one hand around the handle of the shovel, as if trying to squeeze its neck instead of Kid’s.  She was ready to tear a strip out of his hide, but held herself in check, for the moment.  “So, it was you!”

He shrugged sheepishly.  “Sort of.”  Seeing that his words had fanned the banked fire in her eyes into a full blown blaze of anger, he held up a placating hand.  “It wasn’t deliberate.  I was just tryin’ ta do somethin’ nice fer ya.”

“How’s--”

He interrupted her with a soft smile, stepping closer to reach out and grab her free hand in both of his.

“I know yer birthday’s comin’ up,” he said.  “So, when I come back from my run this mornin’ and heard Noah gripin’ ‘bout havin’ ta make the run ta Craig,  it occurred ta me it might be a nice surprise ta get ta spend it with Jeremiah and Teresa.  I swear, Lou, I didn’t know ‘bout the other.”  He paused a heartbeat to let her digest his words.  “I promised not ta interfere with yer job anymore and I meant it.  Hard as that may be sometimes.”

Lou’s shoulders slumped.  She could see the truth in Kid’s eyes.  He was a horrible liar.  And she knew he’d just come back from a three day run east.  He wouldn’t have heard about the latest Indian troubles until he got home.

“Thanks fer the thought, Kid,” she said miserably.  “That was sweet.”

She turned away from him and went back to mucking out the stall.  This time her body screamed a souldeep weariness instead of seething anger, as it had earlier.  Kid waited, letting her work up to whatever it was she had to say.

“How could he do this to me?” she finally whispered, stopping her work and letting her forehead rest on the top of the shovel’s handle.  Squeezing her eyes shut, she was unable to keep a single tear from escaping down her cheek.

Seeing her pain, Kid walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“Who?”

“Teaspoon.  That’s who,” she whispered.  “He swore… swore ta me my bein’ a girl didn’t make a difference.  Then he goes and does this ta me.  And the rest of ya let him.”

“We love ya, Lou,” he said, pressing a kiss into her hair.  “All of us.  And, like it or not, yer bein’ a girl, the only girl, does make a difference.  I know, I know,” he added hurriedly, feeling her stiffening in outrage.  “We can’t let it show.  And most times we don’t.  But you gotta understand sometimes the need ta protect ya gets overwhelmin’.  We’re gonna forget sometimes.”

“Maybe,” she muttered, pulling away from him.  “But that don’t mean I gotta like it.”

Kid watched her almost visibly withdraw from him without moving an inch and knew this had set their renewed relationship back weeks.  But he had no idea what to do about it.  Sadly, he shook his head and turned to leave her to her thoughts.  Then, he turned back to say, “Don’t hold this against Teaspoon, Lou.  He’s just tryin’ ta do what’s best fer all of us.”

She looked at him for a moment, nodded, then returned to her labors.

**********

Lou had spent the night thinking about what Kid had told her, that her being the only girl sometimes did make a difference, no matter how much the others might try not to let it.  She supposed there was some truth to what he’d said, but it didn’t mean she had to like it or let it stand.  It still hurt to know that Teaspoon didn’t think she could handle herself in trouble, though.  Especially after all she’d been through with him and the boys this last year.

Looking up, she noticed Teaspoon was sitting on the porch outside his office, talking with Buck, Cody, Jimmy and the Kid.  He’d taken off suddenly last night with Buck and Noah.  Looks like whatever mission he’d been on was over and he was back.

Walking across the street, she stepped up on the boardwalk and listened to what he was saying. 

“Killed a lawman, two of his deputies.  Some say he’s done a lot worse since then,” Teaspoon was explaining to the others.

Buck shook his head.  “Hard to believe he’s lasted this long.”

Looking to his side at the younger  man, Teaspoon said, “Well, they brought him in once, but he got free.  You boys are gonna have ta watch him every step of the way.”

Cody groaned.  “I’m really lookin’ forward ta this.”

Lou saw her chance to make a point.  Flicking a warning glance at the Kid, she spoke up.  “I’ll do it.”

Teaspoon shook his head.  “Sorry, Lou.  Already made my de… ow!” he paused as he put his foot down in obvious pain.  Lou wondered what that was about.  “Decision,” he finished.

She wasn’t about to give up.  And from what she’d over heard, she had plenty of ammunition.  “Yer already sendin’ me in that direction ta pick up that pouch in Craig.”

“I know,” was Teaspoon’s uncomfortable response.

Knowing she had him where she wanted him, Lou decided it was time to press her point.  “Look, Teaspoon, yer always sayin’ that me bein’ a girl don’t make a difference, right?”

“Yep.”

“Does it?” she insisted.

“Nope.”

Lou suppressed a grin.  She had him.  “So, then I kin go, right?”

Teaspoon looked over at the blonde rider seated next to Buck.  “Cody, looks like you got yer replacement.”  The Marshal paused a moment to gather his thoughts, then looked pointedly at Kid, Jimmy, then Lou.  “Listen up you three, Mills is gonna be lookin’ fer an edge.  God help ya if he gets it.”

**********

Lou winced, ducking her head at the clatter of the trapdoor under Elias Mills’ feet opening and the sound of his body hurtling downward only to be pulled to a halt far short of the ground by the rope around his neck.  She turned away, unable to watch the macabre spectacle of a man she’d come to admire dying.

Over the last week she’d learned a lot about herself, as well as the two men she loved the most.  Much of it thanks to Mills’ levelheaded commentary on life.  Yes, she could admit it to herself, now.  She loved Jimmy.  She always had.  Maybe there might have been something there.  The kiss they had shared certainly said it was possible.  She just didn’t love him as much as the Kid.  If she had to live without one of these two men, she knew which one she couldn’t let go.

Turning toward him, she hid her head in Kid’s shoulder, trying not to cry.  Not caring if her actions exposed her disguise for what it was.  His arm wrapped around her almost automatically, without him even being aware of it at first.  Then, he looked down at her for a second in surprise, before bringing his hand up to cradle the back of her head comfortingly.

That was something else she’d learned this last week.  Sometimes the freedom to be treated exactly like one of the boys wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  Sometimes it was nice to have someone want to hold you, cherish you, protect you from the horrors of this world.  It wasn’t that she couldn’t handle those things, just that it was nice to know she didn’t always have to.

She’d never been so happy, so relieved, as when Kid had shown up to shoot that disgraced former Marshal who’d been trying to take Mills in himself.  Oh, he’d probably have come back even if it had been just Jimmy, but she knew he’d pushed himself harder, further because she was in danger, too.  And that didn’t bother her.

She couldn’t change who she was now.  She couldn’t go back to who she’d been before she’d started dressing and acting like a boy.  But she could break free of the chains she’d put on her own life.  She could accept the part of her she’d been denying for so long.  It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be worth it.

She savored the comfort of Kid’s embrace a moment longer, felt the lingering pleasure of his hand brushing up and down along her back.  Then, she pulled back, strengthened once again to face the tragedies of life.  Not happy, but ready to move on.  She turned to follow Kid’s lead away from the scaffold, but paused to place a comforting hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, understanding in that moment perhaps better than anyone how he was feeling.  He, too, needed someone to be strong for him when he was weak.  But she wasn’t that someone.  Couldn’t be.

Saddened by this new thought, she slowly walked away.  But even though she refused to look back to see if Jimmy was coming or not, her ears strained for the sound of his footsteps.  When she heard them, she relaxed.

Freedom to be herself wasn’t as sweet as she’d once thought it might be.  But, she’d found a new freedom this trip, the freedom to not always have to be in control, in charge, the freedom to let others care for her.  She hoped someday, soon, Jimmy discovered this freedom, too.

Let It Go, Brit & Alex

I was on the outside (lookin in)

Wondering where do I (go from here)

I wanna show the world my (time is now)

I won't hold back

I'm comin out

I took a bite of freedom (it taste so sweet)

Now that I know (my body's being released)

I can't go back to who I was before

I'm walking through this open door

Because tonight I'm so inspired

I feel the beat, it takes me higher(higher)

To break free is my desire

This is the new me