Starting Over, Chapter 3

Author's Note: It's ten years after the end of the Express.  The Civil War is over.  But hings have not exactly gone according to plan for Lou and Kid. That doesn't mean they can't learn to fall in love all over again. Hope springs eternal.




Lu watched as the town called Rock Creek slowly materialized on the horizon.  Jimmy had told him this was where he’d worked for the Express, where he’d gotten married and the place he’d left his one, true love behind when he’d headed East to fight in the War Between The States.

He half-held his breath, hoping against hope that his return to familiar environs might spark a memory or two.  Living the last several years as a man without a past had become a burden he wanted free of, even if it did mean totally upsetting the life he’d built for himself since.  The uncertainty, not knowing who he really was, was killing him.  Anything would do, really, a momentary glimpse of the men he’d called brother, the scent of this Lou he’d once supposedly loved so passionately -- though how he could have loved someone so much and still left her to fight that damned, senseless war he didn’t know.  But, try as he might, he remembered nothing, recognized nothing.

Despite all that, he felt an odd quickening of his heart the closer he came to the settlement.  He had the strangest urge to push his team into a gallop, to shout… something… as he raced into town.

“Slow down, Lu,” Lydia begged, grasping tightly at his arm.

Looking down at her, Lu noticed the white lines of stress showing around her eyes as she tried, and failed, to hold back her fear.  It was then he realized the horses were moving, if not at a full gallop, at the next best thing to it… and would appear to be a runaway team to anyone watching.

“Whoa!” he called out, pulling back on the reins to slow the animals to a sedate walk.  “Sorry,” he muttered to Lydia, who simply nodded compliantly and released her death grip on his arm now that she felt safe.  What had happened to the spirited woman who’d been traveling with him and Jimmy these last few weeks, he wondered, the woman only Jimmy seemed to bring out so easily?  Even as the name crossed his mind, the husky laughter of the man himself penetrated Lu’s thoughts.

“See,” Jimmy smiled up at Lu form the back of the palomino gelding he was riding alongside the wagon.  “I told you you’d remember, once we got here.”

Lu shook his head in denial.  Flapping one arm uselessly toward the town ahead, he said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.  I don’t recognize any of this.  I haven’t remembered anything!”

His voice rose in volume and heat with each word, venting his frustrations on this man who’d promised so much and failed to deliver.  Jimmy just laughed some more, pulling his hat off to slap it against his thigh before settling it once more, securely, atop his head.

“Guess that explains why you pushed yer animals so hard back there, starting right where we used speed up on our way in from a run, eager ta get home and taste some of Rachel’s good cookin’,” Jimmy smiled, once he’d conquered his laughter.  “You may not have remembered here,” he said, pointing at his head, “but you sure remembered in here.”  He emphasized the finish with a slap of his chest, right over his heart.

A few moments later and Lu was turning the wagon onto Rock Creek’s main street, following Jimmy into town.  As they drove past the stagecoach, pulled up in front of the hotel, Lu could tell it, too had just arrived, but from the West, instead of the East.

He watched the people disembarking one at a time, wondering what had led each of them to head back East.  Just as he pulled even with the stage, a pretty young woman, with painfully short hair, dressed in a worn out old calico frock Lydia wouldn’t even have used as a rag, stepped out of the stage, leaning wearily on the driver’s uplifted hand for a moment before turning back to speak to someone still inside.

He’d only caught a moment’s glimpse of her as he passed, but there was something so compelling about those large, expressive brown eyes and that mobile mouth that he felt this indescribable urge to run back and find out everything about her, to learn why she looked so tired and hungry, and do something to make her smile.

Unconsciously, he turned his head back, hoping to get another look at her.  A sudden hiss from Lydia had him snapping his head back to the front, just in time to guide the horses around a freight wagon stopped in front of the general store.

“Would you watch where we’re going?” Lydia snapped, obviously trying to maintain her fragile hold on her temper, and failing judging by the sudden flush along her cheekbones.

“Sorry,” Lu found himself muttering again, mentally kicking himself for getting so distracted and endangering not only Lydia, but also Carl, who rode in the wagon behind them, and was right now leaning up against his back, checking the town out as eagerly as Lu had been.

“Pull up to that barn at the end of the street, Jimmy interrupted Lu’s inner diatribe.  Pointing out the large structure he’d been talking about, he added, “I’ll go roust out the livery owner for ya and let Teaspoon know we’re here.”  The comment was accompanied by a mischievous smile that had Lu’s shoulder blades itching something fierce.

**********

“I… I have a headache,” Lydia whispered after they’d been stopped outside the livery but a few moments.  “I think I’ll lay down in back for awhile.”

Without another word, she crawled into the back of the wagon where there was a small pallet for Carl.  She pulled the canvas flaps closed tight behind her.  Lu watched, wondering what was really bothering her.  She didn’t really have a headache.  She never did.  It was just an excuse to escape from something or someone.  He wondered what she was trying to escape from this time.

He looked down at Carl, who stood at his side, and quirked an eyebrow in question.  Carl just stared back up at him, lifting both hands up in an open gesture and shrugging like an old man.  Lu laughed.

Holding his hand out to the boy, he said, “ Come on, let’s go exploring!  Let yer Ma get some rest.”

Smiling happily, Carl took his hand and soon they were walking down the boardwalk, stopping every once in awhile to peer into a window, or comment on something they’d seen.  There were two restaurants and a hotel, in addition to a dressmaker’s shop and a feed and seed on one side of the street.  Crossing over to the other, they peeked into a window labeled Telegraph Office.  Inside the telegraph operator was hunched over his little machine, tapping out a message to who knew where for a businessman waiting impatiently on the other side of the counter.

Pointing at the telegraph operator’s dark skin and long, black hair pulled up into a pony tail, Carl asked curiously, “Is that an injun, Pa?”

“Don’t rightly know, son,” Lu replied, taking another look.  “Mebbe so.  Don’t look like no nigra I ever seen.  But, if he is, he don’t look all that savage to me.”

Moving on down the street, they came to a general store and a barber shop, before Carl noticed Hickok disappearing into a building labeled U.S. Marshal across the street.

“Hey!  There’s Uncle Jimmy,” Carl shouted, tugging urgently at Lu’s hand, pulling him down off the boardwalk and out into the road.  Laughing, Lu allowed the child to drag him across the street.

But, peering through the window, he saw Jimmy talking earnestly, yet animatedly, to an older man wearing a badge.  The pretty young lady he’d seen earlier was seated next to another woman, slightly younger, against the far wall.

Lu squatted down in front of Carl to get his full attention, then said, “Your Uncle Jimmy’s busy, Carl.  We’d best wait out here fer him.”

“He’s probably talking to my Grandpa ‘Spoon,” a bright voice spoke up from behind them.  Spinning around, Lu found a smiling cherub of a girl sitting on a bench against the wall, swinging her legs back and forth, while sucking on a candy stick.  She had long brown hair bound into two straight braids that fell over her shoulders, and the brightest blue eyes Lu’d ever seen.  Those eyes seemed hauntingly familiar to him, though he couldn’t figure out why.  Standing up, she wiped her hand off on her pinafore, then held it out to them and, with a big grin, introduced herself.  “Hi!  My name’s Mary Kate.”

Lu gravely took her hand in his, careful not to crush it as he shook it, and completed the introductions.  “I’m Louis Mallory and this is my son, Carl.”

Carl stepped forward.  “Nice to meet you, Mary Kate.  How come you have two names?”

Lu started trying to hush the boy, but Mary Kate was already answering him.

“Cause I’m named fer two people, both my Grandmas.  Not that I ever met them.  They’re dead.”

“I’m named fer my Pa,” Carl said, obviously happy to find something in common with the young lady. 

She tilted her head in question and asked, “But I thought he,” she pointed up at Lu, “was yer Pa.”

Carl laughed.  “He’s my second Pa.  My first one died ‘fore I was borned, back during the War.”

Mary Kate looked from Carl to Lu and back again several times, before reaching out to grab Carl’s hand and drag him off down the boardwalk with her.

“Hey, where are you…” Lu started to question.

“We’ll be right back,” she shouted over her shoulder, never slowing down.  Carl just grinned and waved.  Lu sighed and settled down to sit on the edge of the boardwalk and await the children’s return.

They didn’t go far, essentially just until they were out of hearing.  Then, Mary Kate began chattering a mile a minute at Carl, who just nodded occasionally in answer.  Breaking off a piece of her candy stick, Mary Kate handed it to Carl, who grinned and immediately stuck it in his mouth.  Lu laughed softly to himself, watching the children’s antics.  A moment later they returned to his side.  Carl settled himself on the boardwalk next to Lu, while Mary Kate jumped off the edge to stand in front of him.

Looking up at Lu, she contemplated him for a long moment before saying, “My Pa died in the War before I was borned, just like Carl’s.  Could you be my second Pa, too?”

Lu gasped for breath, struggling not to cry at the sad, wistful tone in the little girl’s voice.  Dropping to his knees in front of her, he held out his arms.  She rushed into them, and he hugged her tightly to him.

“I--“ he started to say, planning to let her down as gently as possible, but a sharp voice interrupted.

“Get your hands off my daughter, mister!”

The harsh tones were followed up by the ominous clicking of a gun being cocked, right next to his ear.


Chapter 4

Starting Over, Chapter 2

Author's Note: It's ten years after the end of the Express.  The Civil War is over.  But hings have not exactly gone according to plan for Lou and Kid. That doesn't mean they can't learn to fall in love all over again. Hope springs eternal.

Chapter 2

“Where’s yer gun?” a surprised Jimmy asked the next morning when he saw Kid, Lu, coming out of the house burdened down with a pile of quilts and other linens, but no gun on his hip.

“Wha?” Kid grunted as he stuffed the bedding under the front seat of the already overpacked wagon.  Turning to look at Jimmy, Lu completed the question.  “What gun?”

Patting the butts of his trusty pearl-handled Colt revolvers, Jimmy said, “Yer six-gun! Other than yer mare Katy, it was yer most prized possession.”

“Guns are evil,” Lydia Cathers said, walking out the front door while still tying on her bonnet.  “I won’t have them around my son.”

“Well, then I’d be prepared to meet my maker, lady,” Jimmy sneered, “’cause you won’t last two weeks out West without a gun.”

Lydia just sniffed and walked around the wagon to where Kid was waiting to help her up onto the seat.  Jimmy watched her move, intrigued by the sway of her hips underneath all those skirts and half-wondering how much of her bustle was real.  Shaking his head as if to rid himself of the image, he forcibly reminded himself he was supposed to dislike this interloper on Lou’s behalf.

Cupping his hands around his mouth, he called after her, “That is, if the Indians don’t capture you and turn you into a squaw, first!”

Mentally apologizing to Buck for the comment, Jimmy watched the Widow Cathers’ back stiffen as she turned to glare at him.  He grinned, pleased to see that his barb had struck true.  That grin began to fall away as the widow woman climbed back out of the wagon, pushing Kid’s hastily offered hand roughly away in the process.  Lifting her skirts in one hand she marched determinedly toward Hickok.  He swore he could see smoke coming out of her ears, trailing behind her as she moved.

Coming to a stop directly in front of the famed gunslinger who towered head and shoulders over her, she began emphatically poking him in the chest with one slender finger as she spoke.

“I’ll have you know I’m the best shot in the county,” she hissed at him.  My father had me practicing with targets as soon as I was strong enough to hold a rifle.  It was bigger than I was.”  Glaring up at Jimmy she continued her diatribe.  “Just because I can shoot doesn’t mean I approve of firearms.  They stole my father from me… and then my husband.  That doesn’t mean I’m not perfectly capable of protecting myself and my son, if necessary.  Even without a ‘strong man’ to help!”

Without pausing for breath, she reached out, grabbed one of a startled Jimmy’s Colts and, swiveling on one heel, handily shot out the ‘a’ in the wooden letters that spelled out ‘Cathers’, swinging not so gently now from a pole at the end of the drive, a good 50 feet away.  Handing the still smoking gun to a dumbfounded Jimmy, she turned almost violently back toward the wagon and marched toward her seat, her skirts swirling around her legs as she moved.  An indignant, “Hmph!”, floated back toward the two men as she went.

Looking from Lydia Cathers’ stiff posture as she perched on the wagon seat to Kid, Jimmy pursed his lips and let out a long, low whistle.

“Well, I guess I can see what attracted you to her,” he smiled.  “The lady’s sure got gumption.   You’ve always liked the spirited type.”  We both have, he thought, but kept the notion to himself.

Lu stared first at Lydia than at Jimmy, and back again, equally dumbfounded.  Finally, he said, “Are you kidding me?  I’ve never seen her act that way, not once in the nearly six years I’ve known her!”

**********

Lu watched, still mystified, as Lydia shook her fist at Jimmy, who was scampering out of her reach after having stolen one of the delicious smelling cinnamon rolls she’d just pulled out of the dutch oven and had been in the process of frosting.  Lu’s ears were still ringing from the shriek she’d emitted upon discovering Hickok’s perfidy.  He almost expected her to take after the miscreant with a frying pan.

Those two had fought like cats and dogs since day one of this blasted trip, Lu thought.  Somehow, Jimmy’s teasing, confrontational behavior didn’t really surprise him.  Jimmy had insisted Lu call him that, not Wild Bill, Bill or even William.  He’d said only family called him Jimmy and Lu was family.  But Lydia’s behavior completely baffled the man.  The calm, unflappable, almost emotionless, woman he’d known was gone.  She’d been replaced by this short-tempered, stubborn, virago he was watching now.

“Come on, buddy.  Time for yer shootin’ lessons,” Jimmy spoke up from Lu’s side.

Startled by the sudden sound, Lu jerked his head around to look at the man standing next to him.  His long dark hair fell in thick curls to well below his shoulders.  A thick handlebar mustache moved up and down as he calmly munched on the last bit of stolen cinnamon roll, then began licking the remnants of icing off his fingers.

Lu shook his head in disbelief.  “Why do you insist on constantly provoking her like that?”

Jimmy shrugged as he handed Kid the gunbelt and revolver he’d bought for him the first chance he’d had.  An unarmed Kid had been disturbingly like riding with a naked Kid, not something Jimmy wanted to contemplate.

“Dunno,” he said, smiling.  “It’s fun, I guess.  ‘Sides, she’s purtier when she’s angry.  All them sparks shootin’ out of her big, green eyes.  Makes a man wonder if she’d burn him.”

Lu, in the process of buckling on the gunbelt, then tying it down around his leg, choked back a laugh at that.  He wasn’t quite sure he agreed with Jimmy about it being ‘fun’.  But he had to admit, Lydia had certainly been more interesting to be around since they’d hit the trail. 

Fingering the butt of the revolver now strapped to his side, Lu followed Jimmy back toward a stump a distance away from their camp.  Carl, Jr, was already there, assiduously cleaning a rifle the way Jimmy’d shown him.  Finally, Lu asked, “Why do you insist on this?  I ain’t no good at shootin’.  You’ve seen that plenty fer yerself.  You’d be better off bringin’ Lydia out here to practice.”

“Yer plenty good, Kid,” Jimmy said.  “You just need to remember is all.  Teaspoon said the fastest way ta get you ta start rememberin’ was ta get you doin’ stuff you used to.”

Jimmy didn’t slow down as he spoke.  That would mean he had to stop and look at Kid and looking at a Kid who not only didn’t remember him but apparently had lost most of the skills he’d had… from shooting to tracking to basic woodcraft… was almost more than Jimmy could handle.  So, instead, he talked.

“You and me?  We used to practice shootin’ together, all the time.  It was.. well.. sort of a competition ‘tween us, ta see which of us was better.”

Lu stopped and stared at the famed gunfighter in shock. 

“Better?” he croaked.

Jimmy stopped and turned to look at the shocked man.  He laughed, walking back toward Lu and pounding on his shoulder.  “Oh, you eventually admitted I was the better shot.  But it was a close call there fer awhile.”

**********

A short time later, Jimmy was ready to eat his words.  He’d never seen a worse shot than Kid had become.  He couldn’t understand it.

“No, no, no,” he muttered for what felt like the millionth time.  “You’re squeezin’ yer eyes closed, not the trigger.  Keep yer eye on the target or you’ll never hit it.”

“Like this, Pa,” Carl piped up, lifting the rifle to his shoulder, sighting down its length at the target, taking in a deep breath and slowly, gently squeezing the trigger.  One of the tin cans Jimmy had placed on the stump 20 feet away went flying a second later.  Looking back up at the man he considered his father, the child smiled, pleased with his feat.  “See?  Easy as pie.”

Lu sighed despondently.  “I told you, I can’t shoot.  Ain’t been able ta hit the broad side of a barn fer as long as I kin remember.  I can use a rifle, barely.  But that’s about it.”

“But,” Jimmy started to splutter.  “But… you fought in the war.”

Lu laughed bitterly at that.  “Accuracy didn’t matter much then.  Didn’t take much aimin’ ta hit somethin’ wearin’ Yankee blue.”

Jimmy started to stiffen at the slur, then, taking a deep breath himself, decided to let it go.  They’d fought on opposite sides.  They’d known that was going to happen before the war ever started.  No sense reviving all those old arguments, arguments the Kid wouldn’t even remember at the moment, now that the war was done and over.  One side had lost, one had won.  The end.

“Let’s try it one more time.  Reload,” Jimmy said, patiently, reaching out to lay a hand on Carl’s little shoulder to keep him from running toward the targets.  “No, son.  You never come between the shootin’ line and the targets until the all clear is given.  It ain’t safe.”

Looking up at the tall man with awe, Carl gave an obliging, “Yes, sir.”

Moments later, Jimmy felt like throwing himself directly into the Kid’s line of fire, just to end his misery.  Six shots… and nothing hit.  Shaking his head, he started to move toward his brother to show him, yet again, how to do it right.

“Not like that, Lu,” Lydia said, exasperatedly.  “No wonder you can’t hit anything you aim at.”

Lydia lifted her skirts in both hands and marched up the slight slope to where the men had set up their shooting range.  Reaching out, she grabbed the revolver out of Lu’s hands and looked it over for a moment.  Holding it at eye level, she opened the barrel and spun it around expertly, checking the gun’s balance and load.  She held her hand out and demanded, “Five bullets, please.”

Carl rushed up and counted out the ammunition into her palm.  “One, two, three, four and five.”

“Thank you, son,” she paused to smile down at her offspring, ruffling his hair with the same hand that now held the bullets for the revolver.  Turning back to the business at hand, she quickly loaded the weapon, then let it fall to her side, held in a relaxed grip.  “Watch and learn,” she said briskly.  “Let the gun become an extension of your hand.  Pay it no more head than you would a fist in a fistfight.  It’s a tool, nothing more.  You can’t be afraid of it, or it’ll bite ya, just like a dog.  Simply clap your eyes on what you want to hit, breath deep and think about hitting the target.  Don’t think about all the steps to get there, just think about the results.  Let your body do the rest.”

Putting actions to her words, she paused for a moment, breathing deeply while staring down the tin can targets with a ferocity that would have put any of the numerous gunfighters Jimmy’d faced down to shame.  He shivered a bit at the sight, whether in fear or excitement he couldn’t say.  Then, with a suddenness that had the men jerking in surprise, she lifted the business end of the sixgun until it was leveled directly at the targets and began firing, never raising her arm above hip level.  In rapid sequence she fired the weapon six times, hitting each of the remaining two targets three times.

Turning back to face the men, she let a rare smile grace her face, giving it a radiant glow.  She lifted the weapon in front of her face and gently blew the remaining smoke away, before holding it out to Lu. 

“Simple,” she said, before gathering her skirts in her hand once more and heading back down the hill.  “Hurry it up.  Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.  Anyone late to dinner doesn’t eat.  Carl, come along,” she flung over her shoulder.  “You need to wash up.”

“What a woman,” Jimmy marveled admiringly as he watched her go, her son tripping along at her heels, chattering with every step.

Lu looked up from the revolver he was dutifully reloading.  Following the direction of Jimmy’s gaze, he shivered slightly.  “I don’t know.  She’s starting to scare me.”

**********

Lu settled into his seat by the fire, a cup of coffee in his hand, and laid his head back on the saddle behind him, his eyes closing.

“Tired?” Lydia asked softly.

Without opening his eyes, Lu nodded.  “I’ve never felt this exhausted in my life.  I swear Hickok’s tryin’ ta kill me.”

Lydia laughed softly, an appealing sound similar to tinkling bells, a sound Lu had heard rarely in their five year acquaintance.  Opening his eyes, he looked directly at her as she spoke. 

“He’s just trying to keep us, you really, safe.” she said.  “It’s actually rather sweet.”

In the two weeks they’d been traveling, Jimmy had had Lu training not only with that blasted handgun he was beginning to hate, but also on a variety of other survival skills that often baffled the southerner.  When Lu’d asked him why, Jimmy’d just said he was re-teaching him a bag of tricks he must’ve lost along with his memory.  The comment had been as confusing as it had been enlightening.

Looking at Lydia, Lu noticed her sharp features softening a bit as she thought about their companion, who was currently taking first watch well beyond the hearing of the two seated at the fire.

“I thought you didn’t like him,” Lu said.

“He… grows on a person,” Lydia said softly, looking down into the contents of her own coffee cup.  “And he seems to truly care about you, which means he can’t be all bad.”


Chapter 3

Starting Over

Author's Note: This is the beginning of a new story. It starts 10 years after the end of the Express. Things have not exactly gone according to plan for Lou and Kid. But that doesn't mean they can't learn to fall in love all over again. Hope springs eternal.






Prologue
Overland Stage, Nebraska, 1871

“Momma, are we there yet?”

Lou smiled down at the precious little girl who had been the one thing that had kept her going these last 10 years.  Reaching out, she gently brushed a stray curl back behind her ear.

“We’re almost there, honey,” Lou said.  “Why don’t you work on your sampler to pass the time?”

Sighing, Lou watched as her petite daughter, with curly brown hair pulled back into two braids and bright blue eyes, began digging into her bag for her cross stitch sampler.  The gamine little imp reminded Lou more of her father every day.  Sighing, Lou turned to stare out the stage window at the prairie slowly sliding past, much like her life had for the last decade.  Ever since the day all her dreams for the future had died, along with her husband, in the War.

“It’ll be alright, Lou.  You’ll see.”

Lou looked across the stage at her sister, Teresa, smiling softly at her.

“I don’t know, Sugarbear,” she said, using her old nickname for her little sister.  “the way I left....” she let the thought trail off, whispering almost too quietly to hear as she turned back to her perusal of the passing plains, “I just don’t know.”

Not really seeing the countryside before her eyes, Lou’s thoughts wandered back to the day she’d left, without a word or a note for anyone.  Would they be able to forgive her for just disappearing?  She’d never been able to get up the courage to contact Teaspoon, Rachel, Emma or any of the surviving boys in the years since.  For all they knew, she’d died that day, same as Kid.

**********

“Rock Creek, Nebraska, next stop!”

The stagecoach driver’s call jerked Lou from an uneasy sleep.  Sitting up straighter, she reached up to push her hair back from her face, coming to a sudden stop when she found no hair to push.  It was going to take some getting used to, this having short hair again, she thought inconsequentially.  

Soon, she was letting the driver hand her down out of the stage, then turning to catch her daughter as she jumped from the stage into her mother’s arms.  Hugging the girl close to her, Lou set her down gently, keeping a tight clasp on her hand.

“Thank you,” she murmured to Teresa as her sister handed her a lone, almost empty, carpetbag that held all their worldly possessions.  Slowly, she began a determined march down the familiar street toward the Marshal’s office.  At a soft tugging on her hand, Lou looked down.  “Yes?”

“Momma, where are we going?”

“Home, honey,” she said, looking back up toward her goal.  “We’re going home.”  


Chapter 1
Winchester, Tennessee, 1871


Louis Mallory smiled as he watched his soon-to-be stepson come running down the boardwalk toward him.  The five year old was the joy of his life.  It was hard to believe the boy would be officially his tomorrow, Louis thought as the child flung himself at the only father he’d ever known, wrapping all his limbs around the tall man’s leg.

“Pa, guess what?”

“What, son?” Louis, Lu to his friends, asked as he bent over to pull the child up into his arms.

“Mr. Fisher gave me a whole ten cent piece fer holdin’ his horse fer him.  He was real purty, too.”

“Mr. Fisher was pretty?” Lu asked, putting on an astounded look just for the boy, who laughed uproariously.  Mr. Fisher was unanimously declared the ugliest man in town, with crossed eyes, crooked teeth and only half a head of straggly grey hair.  But he loved children and was always finding little ‘jobs’ for them to do so he could give them money.  There was something about the old man that just warmed the cockles of Lu’s heart.

“No, Pa!” the five year old smiled, slapping a hand against the man’s broad shoulder.  “His horse was.  It was a new one, too.”

Lu smiled, walking down the boardwalk as the child continued to chatter in his ear.  He’d come to Winchester five years ago, at the end of the war, to deliver the sad news of the death of Carl Cathers to his widow, Lydia.  He’d arrived just in time to help her deliver her son into the world.  Carl had been his best friend ever since he’d joined the 1^st Tennessee Infantry back in ’62 and, at his behest, he’d stayed on in Winchester, helping Lydia run her farm and raise her son. 

A few months ago they’d started courting and tomorrow she would become his wife, making her son his, officially.  Probably not a good idea to mention to her he was more excited about becoming a Pa than a husband, Lu thought with a slight grimace.

The day after that, they were pulling out, heading west.  He’d done his best, but he was no farmer.  And the post-war economy hadn’t helped.  They’d never gotten caught up on Carl’s back taxes and now they were out of time.  So, they were headed west in hopes of finding free land and starting a horse ranch.

**********

Jimmy Hickok stepped out of the hotel where he’d booked a room for the night.  He could have continued to travel another few hours, but there was no hurry.  It wasn’t as if he had anyone waiting for him back home, or that he even really had a home.  The last time he’d had a place that had truly felt like home was back before the start of the War, when he’d been riding for the Express.  But now his family was dead, missing or scattered to the four winds.

He’d tried recapturing some of that old family feeling these last few months, working with his ‘brother’ Billy Cody for Cody’s newly-minted Wild West Show.  But his heart just hadn’t been in it.  Now, he was headed back to the western frontier, where at least things worked in a way Jimmy could understand.

Sighing, he turned down the boardwalk, headed toward the small town’s singular restaurant.  He missed Emma’s and Rachel’s good cooking.  No restaurant meal ever measured up, let alone all the saloon food he’d eaten over the last few years.  So deep in thought was he, he didn’t notice the man walking down the path toward him, a chattering child held in his arms, not until he ran right into them.

“Oof!” the man let out a gasp of air as he desperately reached for the child falling out of his arms.  Jimmy’s quick reflexes, honed to a fine tune by a lifetime of gunfighting, let him catch the boy just inche before he crashed headfirst into the wooden boardwalk.

“You alright?” he asked, hauling the child upright and brushing him off.  “Nothing’s broken?  No bleeding?”

“No, I’m fine, mister,” the youth said, smiling up at him through a gap in his teeth.  “That was a nice catch.  Even my Pa couldn’t move that fast!  And he’s the fastest man in the whole county!”

“Well, I better have caught you seeing as how I’m the one what sent ya flyin’ in the first place,” Jimmy smiled back.  He’d always loved children.  There was something so pure and uncomplicated about them.  Straightening to his full six feet of height, he raised his head to meet the gaze of the man he’d run into, only to freeze at the sight of a familiar pair of crystal, blue eyes.  He gasped, “Kid?  Kid!”

With a shout of glee, he reached out, throwing his arms around the startled man.  “Kid!  You’re alive!”

Noticing the man’s stiffness, Jimmy pulled back to look at him again.  No, there’d been no mistake.  It was Kid.  The same curly hair, about as short as Jimmy’d ever seen it, the crystal blue eyes circled by more lines than Jimmy remembered, but still the same, and the height that let Kid look Jimmy in the eyes, something few men in this world could do.

The man cleared his throat and spoke, a touch uncertainly.  “I don’t know who this ‘Kid’ is, but I thank you for rescuing my son.”  He held out his hand to Jimmy for a more formal greeting, “Name’s Louis, Louis Mallory.  Though most folks just call me Lu.”

“Lu?” Jimmy asked, bewildered, shaking his head in disbelief.  “Well, we never knew what yer real name was.  Not even yer brother would own up to it.  We all just called ya ‘the Kid’.”

Now it was Lu’s turn to look flummoxed.  Taking a half-step backward, he stammered, “You… you mean you know me?  You actually do know me?”

“Well of course I do!  Shared a bunkhouse with ya fer nigh on two years, back when we rode fer the Express.  Called you brother, right up until the day ya rode off ta fight fer the South and I was too stubborn ta realize the importance of family.”  Jimmy laughed.  “You might’ve aged a bit, but I’d recognize ya anywhere!”

Never taking his eyes off the tall, lanky fellow who claimed to know him, Lu spoke to his son.  “Carl, you go on down to the church and tell yer Ma ta head home.  I’ll be along later.”

Looking back and forth between the two men, Carl reluctantly began walking away.

“Let’s go someplace more private and talk,” Lu said urgently, grabbing Jimmy’s arm in a tight grasp, as if afraid he might disappear.  Soon they were seated in a corner at Ma’s Kettle, the town’s only restaurant.

“What happened to ya, Kid?  Er… Lu?” Jimmy asked.  “Last we heard, was when we got word you’d been killed at the Battle of Seven Pines, along with the rest of yer unit.”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“Precisely that,” Lu grimaced.  “I don’t know anythin’ from before I woke up in the hospital back in ‘62.  I’d taken a bad blow to the head.  Doctors figured my memory would come back eventually, but it never has.”

Jimmy didn’t know what to say to that and just stared at Kid.

Lu chuffed a half laugh.  “Honestly, I don’t even know if Louis Mallory is my real name or not.  It’s the best we could figure at the time.  Doctors called me Lu, ‘cause that’s what I kept mumbling when I was unconscious.  And the Mallory was embroidered into the collar of my jacket, so they figured that must’ve been my last name.”

All color seemed to leach out of Jimmy’s face at this news. It explained so much.  He began shaking his head, trying to deny the pain a simple misunderstanding had caused.

“What?” Lu asked, curiously.

“Lu ain’t yer name,” Jimmy said hoarsely.  “It's yer wife's.  Lou… Louise McCloud.  You even went by McCloud after marryin’ her, rather than reveal yer real name, Kid.  She embroidered it into yer coat collar shortly before you left.”

“My…. my wife?” Lu asked in a strangled voice.

“Pretty little spitfire…. rode fer the Express with the rest of us.  We all thought of her as a sister,” Jimmy explained.  “You’d only been married a couple months when you left for the War.”

Lu ran a hand over his face, trying to absorb this new information. 

“I’m married?”  he muttered.  To a woman who’d lived and ridden with a bunch of men?!

“Actually… I don’t know,” Jimmy shrugged sadly.  “Lou disappeared, along with her brother and sister, about a week after we got word you’d been killed.  No one’s seen or heard of her since.  We honestly don’t know if she’s alive or dead.”  He decided to keep the rest of the disturbing news to himself for now.

“Well, shee-ite,” Lu let out a long, low whistle, collapsing back into his chair.  “This sure puts a crimp in things.”

Jimmy nodded, remembering what he’d heard Kid say earlier. 

“Lydia?” he asked.

Lu nodded.  “My fiancée.  We’re supposed to get married tomorrow.  I’m adopting her son, Carl.”

Jimmy just looked at Kid, Lu, not sure what to say to that.

“Guess I’d better go tell the minister the weddin’s off… leastwise fer now.. then head home and bust the news to her.  She ain’t gonna be very happy about this.”  Lu stood up and headed toward the door.  Turning back he asked, “You stayin’ around?”

“Wild horses couldn’t drag me away now,” Jimmy said.  “See you in the mornin’?”  Kid nodded and walked out the door, shoulders slumped.

“You’d better hope Lou doesn’t catch wind of this either,” Jimmy muttered as he watched his brother leave.  “Yer Lydia may not ‘be happy’ but our Lou’ll skin ya alive, that’s fer sure and certain.”

**********

“So you may already be married?” Lydia asked quietly, sitting on the maroon loveseat in her beautifully appointed parlor.  Lydia was a quiet woman, strong in her own way, but not outspoken.  She could easily disappear in a room with only two people if she wanted.  She preferred to let someone else deal with the troubles of the world and had leaned on Lu to handle things ever since he’d arrived.

Lu looked at her and nodded his head miserably.  He’d never been particularly attracted to Lydia.  It wasn’t that she wasn’t pretty enough.  She had long ebony hair with a silky sheen, a body with all a woman’s curves in all the right places and a face pleasing to the sight.  But she’d never sparked an interest in him.  Maybe it was because he’d always thought of her as his fallen comrade’s wife, not as an available woman.  Or, maybe, his mind whispered, it was because he’d always known, somewhere deep inside, that he was the one who was unavailable.

Her son, Carl, who he’d helped deliver the night of his arrival, was another story however.  Lu loved the boy with every ounce of his heart.  The thought of losing him because of some phantom woman he couldn’t even remember tore Lu’s heart in two.  Already he was starting to dislike this other ‘Lou’.

“I’m afraid so,” was all he said.

“What are we going to do?” she asked, a tone of steel in her voice, without looking up at him.  “The wagon train won’t let Carl and I come along unless I’m married and the farm’s already sold.  The new owners are set to take possession day after tomorrow.

“I’ll talk things over with this Jimmy in the morning,” Lu sighed, feeling the pressure of having to make all the decisions himself.  Sometimes he wished he had someone who would take an equal part of the burden.  “See if he has anything to suggest.

 “You’d better get things straightened out quickly,” Lydia finally spoke shortly. 

“I know, Lydia.  And I’m sorry, but there’s not much I can do about it.”

**********

“Well, shoot, Kid,” Jimmy smiled at him.  “That’s easy.  Pack ‘em up in the wagon and we’ll head west together.  We don’t need no wagon train.  Ain’t nothin’ ‘tween here and Rock Creek like what you and I used to handle with the Express.  The two of us are all we really need to protect a single wagon with a woman and child.”

“Are you sure?” Lu asked uncertainly.  It seemed like an awful large burden to be taking on for a stranger.  Then again, according to this man, he wasn’t a stranger at all.

“Sure as shootin’ I’m sure,” Jimmy said, standing up.  “What are you waitin’ fer.  Let’s go get you packed up.  We’ll head out first thing in the morning.”

“Alright,” Lu said, picking up his hat and placing it on his head as they walked out into the bright southern sunshine.

Seeing the sign for a telegraph office, Jimmy suddenly stopped.  “Listen, I’ll catch up with ya in a few minutes.”

Kid looked at him with a question on his face.  Jimmy pointed at the sign that had caught his attention.

“I need to send a telegram.  Warn a few people we’re comin’.”

Chapter 2

Sweet Sorrow

Author's Note:  This is part 6 of the Sweetwater Romance series.  It comes after Sweet Reunion and falls at the beginning of the season 3 premier, A House Divided.






“Alright boys,” Teaspoon humphed, “you, too, Lou.  Pick yer poison.”

Teaspoon was seated in his customary seat at the head of the dinner table, a handful of straws held out.  Earlier that day he’d told them two of the riders would have to go to Rock Creek, Nebraska Territory, to rebuild the Express station there, after free-staters had burned them out.

Lou watched the others, pushing forward to grab the straw each had targeted as being least likely to be short.  Only two straws had been pulled when the first groan came.

“Aw, man,” Jimmy whined.  “Why me?”

“Just luck, I guess,” Teaspoon shrugged.  Looking over toward where Lou still sat, Kid at her side, at the other end of the table, he added, “You two better get over here, before Cody beats you out.”

Lou leaned forward and grabbed the third to last straw, sitting back and sticking it between her teeth to show off its length.  But something about Kid’s demeanor when he reached out to pick his straw, hand hovering over first one, then the other, a questioning glance thrown Teaspoon’s way, then a quick dart toward one of the two remaining pieces of hay, had her sitting up straighter as she tried to figure out what was going on.

“Guess, you and I share the same luck, Jimmy,” Kid said, holding up the short straw he’d pulled, half the length of the one Lou was chewing on.

“Better get to packing boys,” Teaspoon threw out.  “I want you on the road with the dawn.”

A short time later, Lou slipped out the bunkhouse door in search of Kid.  She found him in the barn, talking to Katy as he curried her, bedding the mare down for the night.

“You want to tell me what’s goin’ on?” she asked without preamble.

Kid sighed, letting the hand with the curry comb fall to his side as he turned to face her.  “Don’t suppose you’d believe me if I said nothin’, would ya?”

She shook her head silently, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at Kid.  He slowly put away the curry comb and exited Katy’s stall, carefully latching the stall door behind him.  Grabbing Lou’s hand, he led her over to a bale of hay sitting in a corner.  Sitting down, he drew her down next to him.

“I’m leavin’ fer you,” he finally said.

“What?!”

“Well, remember when I asked ya to marry me?  What ya said then?”

Lou nodded, chewing absently on her lip as she thought back to that day she’d rather forget.

“I need some room, Kid,” she’d said.  “Room to breathe, room to think.”

“I don’t understand,” he’d practically begged.  “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing, Kid,” she’d said, reaching out a hand to calm him.  “This ain’t about you.  This is about me.”  She’d turned away from him then, gathering the courage to admit a hard truth.  “When we met, I was runnin’ away from myself.  I’ve kind of lost track of who I am since then.  I need to figure out who I am, now, before I go tryin’ ta change me.  I just… need a little time.”

“This ain’t gonna work, is it?”

“I remember,” she said softly.

“I think I understand better, now, what you were tryin’ ta tell me then.  And, you were right.”

“Hunh?”

“Lou, I ain’t gonna pussyfoot around,” Kid said, exasperated.  “I want to marry you.  And I’d like it to be someday soon, not in some far distant future.”

Lou stiffened, drawing in a surprised breath at his sudden frankness.

“It’s alright,” he immediately soothed.  “I ain’t askin’.  Even I kin tell the time ain’t right yet.”

She relaxed, releasing the breath she’d been unconsciously holding.

“What I’m sayin’ though… is, well… we’ve been spendin’ a lot of time together since we got back from Benton.  And I’ve enjoyed getting’ ta know you again, maybe better than I ever did before.”

“Me too, Kid,” Lou said, agreeing quickly as she reached out a hand to cover his.  “It’s been… nice.”

“But we ain’t exactly started talkin’ ‘bout, or workin’ on the problems we had…. before.  I kinda saw this as an opportunity to do that.  To… maybe move forward a bit.”

Turning her hand over in his, he began tracing the lines in her palm with one finger of his other hand.  Lou sat back, enjoying the sensations and letting the quiet sounds of the barn soothe her while Kid thought through whatever else it was he wanted to say.  Being patient wasn’t in her nature, but for him she was trying to learn.  Finally, he raised his head and met her eyes.

“I want you to take this time I’m gone, to think about who you are, what you want, what you’re dreams are,” he smiled at her, poking a finger at her to emphasize his point.  Then, he reached out and brushed her hair back off her face.  “I love you more than anything, Louise McCloud.  When I get back, I hope you can still say the same.  I don’t want to lose you anymore than you do.”

A soft smile brightened Lou’s features as she gazed up at this man who was bending over backward in his efforts to make her happy, even if he didn’t always understand exactly what he was doing or why.  Suddenly, she couldn’t help herself.  They hadn’t done more than hold hands ever since they’d decided to try again, both agreeing they needed to take things more slowly this time around.  But now she impulsively leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Kid’s lips, reaching out with her free hand to grasp the back of his head and hold his face close to hers.  A moment later, she pulled back to smile up at him.

“What was that about?” he asked, confused, although happy.

“Sometimes I wish I could’ve said ‘yes’,” she whispered, looking up at him through her eyelashes.  “Thank you.”  Without another word, she tore herself out of his arms and scampered out of the barn.

**********

Lou watched the sun slowly peaking over the horizon, heralding a new day and, maybe?, a new her.  She shifted from one foot to the other as she waited for Kid to come out of the bunkhouse.  She wanted to say a private goodbye, before the others came out.

“Pretty isn’t it?”

Turning she saw Kid looking at her with that look, the one that made her stomach take flight every time.

“Yeah,” she nodded.  “It is.”

Kid walked up to her and pulled her tight in a hug.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he whispered into her hair.  “You have no idea how much.”

“Me too,” she nodded, speaking into the lapel of his coat.  “I know Teaspoon says it’ll only be a couple weeks, but right now that feels like forever.”

Reaching down to tilt her chin up so he could look into her face, Kid said, “I’ll write you.  As soon as I get there.”  He laughed slightly.  “Seems I do my best talkin’ to ya in letters anyway.”

“I still have your last one,” she whispered shyly.

“And you’ll do some thinkin’ while I’m gone?” he asked earnestly.

She nodded.  “Just stay safe.  You know, if we ever… move on… we’re gonna have to consider a change in profession.  I don’t like sending you off like this.”

Kid laughed, reaching out to tweak her nose.  “And I do?  Maybe yer right.  Somethin’ else to think about.”

Lou opened her mouth to say something more only to be interrupted by Jimmy walking out the bunkhouse door onto the porch.

“Am I interruptin’?  Or can a fellow get a goodbye hug?” he asked, a smile flirting with the corners of his mouth.

Kid reluctantly released Lou as she turned to hug Jimmy goodbye as well.  Soon, Jimmy was settling his hat more comfortably on his head and walking toward the barn.  Kid’s eyes followed him.

“Maybe you need to do some thinkin’, too,” Lou said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“You and Jimmy,” she said.  “You’ve been at odds fer awhile now.  If you don’t make it up soon, it’ll be too late.  He’s your friend, Kid, don’t lose him over stubborn pride or jealousy.”

**********

“Why do I always end up drawin’ the short straw?” Jimmy complained as they rode out of the barn, ready to head for Rock Creek.  Kid wasn’t looking forward to the long trip or the troubles he was pretty sure awaited him, but at the same time felt the special run was a godsend.

“I drew the other one,” was all he said.  “Come on, Jimmy, a change of scenery might do us both good.”

“Yeah, if we live through it,” Jimmy muttered.  They came to a stop in front of Teaspoon and Noah, who had joined Lou in the yard to wish them a safe ride.

“When you get to Rock Creek look up Ben Turner.  He’s the Marshal there,” Teaspoon said, offering a last bit of advice.  It was obvious he was nervous about the situation, as much as he tried to cover it up.

“Thought he was a Texas Ranger,” Kid said, remembering stories Teaspoon had told them of his days with the Rangers and recognizing the name.

“He was,” Teaspoon grunted.  “Then he got married.  His wife wanted him to take a safer job.”

Kid’s eyes flew to Lou as Teaspoon nearly repeated what she’d said just moments before.  Lou lowered her eyes, trying to hide her own blushing reaction, but unable to completely keep the smirk off her face.  

“Sounds about as safe as sittin’ on a powder keg,” Jimmy commented.

“Ben’s an old friend of mine.  Solid as an oak. I seen him put down a riot once,” Teaspoon reminisced, “single handed, without firin’ a shot.  You boys get in trouble, you can count on him.  I’ll be along as soon as I can.  Shouldn’t be more’n a couple of days.”

Lou stepped forward, reaching up to take Kid’s hand in hers one last time before he rode off.  “You take care of yourself, Kid.”

Kid nodded, gazing deeply into her limpid brown eyes as he squeezed her hand in return, before letting go and turning his horse toward the East.

“Ride safe,” Lou whispered under her breath as she watched him ride off.  She barely noticed Teaspoon wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to his side.

Room to Breathe, Reba McEntire

You ain’t done nothin’ wrong, but I think we need to talk

You might be the one, but before we go too far I need a little time to figure out my heart
Who could ask for more?  But I need to know for sure.

I haven’t been myself from the minute that we met

I ran into your world and kind of walked out on myself
All those dreams I had, I begin to second guess, for you
One too many questions, until I know the truth

I know you’re not to blame and I swear there’s no one new

This has to do with me and not a thing to do with you
So don’t try to understand
You don’t have a thing to prove to me
If you really love me, just give me what I need

Please don’t take this wrong and please don’t turn away

I just don’t want to look back one day and say…

I need room to breathe
A little time to think
to make sure I don’t lose me

Sweet Spot