The Whole Truth: To Tell The Truth

Author's Note:  This story continues The Whole Truth saga, picking up where Moment of Truth left off.  It takes place from the end of The Exchange through A House Divided and into Jesse.

Kid dropped his gaze to his hands as he continued fiddling with his hat, unable to continue watching Lou, waiting for her to say something and losing hope.  Finally, he sighed and stood up, pushing his hat back onto his head.

He didn’t know how long they’d sat there, staring at each other in silence.  But it had been long enough to leave a knife of pain vibrating in his heart.  He’d thought when she’d come to help, and, though she’d been captured, that’s exactly why she’d been there – he knew her that well.  But he’d thought her very presence meant she’d gotten his letter and at least taken the first steps toward forgiving him, toward coming home and trying to make their marriage work. 

Evidently he’d been wrong.  Maybe he’d hurt her more than he’d thought.  Who knew?  He certainly didn’t.  Not anymore.

“I… I guess I was wrong,” he stuttered.  “Guess you weren’t comin’ home…. Leastwise not ta me, after all.  I’ll just leave ya in peace.”  He paused at the door, not looking back.  “I hope ya got my letter, Lou.  I cain’t say things any better than I did there.  I love you.  But I won’t force myself on you.”

Still, she said nothing. His shoulders slumped and he reached for the door handle, turning it with dread and pulling the room door open.

“Kid!” she suddenly shouted in a hoarse whisper, throwing herself against his back. “Don’t... don’t go.”

He stumbled from the force of her weight as she rammed into him, wrapping her arms around his waist so tightly he doubted he could have pried her off.  Not that he wanted to.  Instead, he turned on his heel and looked down at her.

“I’m…. I’m sorry,” she muttered, her face now pressed into the cloth of his shirt, worn soft from so many washings.  “I…. I was afraid I misunderstood your letter and you wanted ta talk about endin’…. endin’…. our…. our…. “

“Our marriage?” Kid whispered, reaching out to tentatively touch the hair on her head.

She nodded, her chin digging into his chest with each downward arc.

“I came back after ya left, intendin’ ta ask ya to go to the county seat and file our marriage certificate at the courthouse, Lou.”  He reached down to slide his hand under her chin, lifting her face so he could see it.  “Endin’ it was… and is… the furthest thing from my mind.”

“But…”

“No buts,” he shook his head, interrupting her.  “I love ya and I fully intend ta spend the rest of my life with ya. If ye’ll let me.”

A shudder of relief shook her body against his and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against him as he breathed in deeply the unique scent that was hers. 

“That said,” he added slowly.  “I cain’t… won’t keep chasing after ya.  Either ya want this… us…. same as me, or ya don’t.  Either yer willin’ ta work for it, or ya ain’t.  Every time ya walk away, it just ‘bout kills me, Lou.  I can’t handle it much more.  Can ya do that fer me?”

She nodded again.

“This ain’t gonna be easy,” he said.

“I know,” she whispered.  “I… I messed up.  Big time.  And that lost us our baby.  I… I killed our baby, Kid.”

“No, Lou.  You didn’t.  I didn’t.  Jimmy didn’t.  It… it’s just somethin’ that happens.  Somethin’ we gotta learn ta live with. All o’ us. But we can’t stop livin’ and lovin’ ‘cause of it.”

Suddenly, her hands slid up his chest to cup his cheeks.  She stood up on tiptoe and began frantically kissing his neck, his cheeks, his lips, any part of him she could reach.  One hand slipped to his shirt and began unfastening the buttons.

Kid relished the feel of her pressed so close to him, her mouth on his, her skin against his. It soothed his soul in ways nothing else could.  But when he realized what she was doing he knew he had to stop her.  It was almost painful, but he knew he had to do it as he pulled back from her embrace, stopping her motion with one of his hands over hers.

He shook his head sadly, wearily, fearfully.  “No, Lou.”

Her big brown eyes started to fill with tears and she moved to pull away from him, to turn away from his rejection.  But he didn’t let her, knowing he had to explain but unable to lose the comfort of her nearness.

“We moved too fast, Lou,” he said hoarsely. “ I done a lotta thinkin’ while you were gone.  We put the cart before the horse and we’ve been payin’ the price ever since.  If we’re goin’ ta make this work… I think we gotta go back to the beginnnin’ and start over, proper. I think there’s a reason it’s called that, proper.”

“What do you mean, Kid?”

He didn’t need to drown in her wide brown eyes to feel her confusion and hurt at his actions and words. It practically thrummed through her entire body where it rested against his side.  He rested his chin on her head wearily as he stared off into space, trying to find the words to tell her what he meant.

“I married ya ‘cause I love ya and respect ya and wanted ya ta know I never woulda…. done what we did…. if that hadn’t been the case. But ya weren’t ready for what came next.  Neither was I, not really.  Not with someone special as you, leastwise.  We need ta go back… court proper…. take things slow…. so we can learn ta be married, the right way.”

She stared at him for a long moment and he held his breath.  Had he gone too far?  Would this be the restriction she couldn’t handle? She’d been the one pushing so hard to move their relationship to the next physical level.  Would she see this as a rejection of all she had to offer, rather than an attempt to fix the things they’d broken between them?  He bit his lip in fear, telling himself he had to stay strong, cause he couldn’t see any other way forward.  Finally, after what felt like an eternity to him, she nodded, slowly.

“Alright, Kid.  We’ll do it yer way,” she whispered, lowering her head so he couldn’t see her expressive face anymore. And she stepped back from him, pulling out of his embrace.  “We’ll take things slow and I’ll wait ‘til yer ready ta move on.”

Kid sighed.  She still wasn’t quite getting it.  “It ain’t about me bein’ ready or you bein’ ready, Lou. It’s about us bein’ ready. That’s the point. Learnin’ ta be us, not you and me.  Do ya see the difference?”

She shrugged.  “I s’pose I will someday.”

He nodded. 

“How’d ya figure all this out, Kid?”

“Like I said, I did a lot of thinkin’ while you were gone.  And…. I talked ta Teaspoon.  Though, honest to God, I’m still tryin’ ta figure out more’n half of what he told me,” he chuckled ruefully.

It was her turn to nod.

“Alright,” she exhaled. She still didn’t really understand where he was going with all this, what he meant about learning to be “us”, but she’d promised herself before coming back to get better at compromising. 

She knew she tended to be stubborn and didn’t want that to ruin what she had with Kid, at least not more than it already had.  Deep down inside her, there was a small part, that little girl longing for love and comfort and security, who wailed in anguish, deeply frightened this meant he really didn’t love her anymore. Lou mentally slammed the door shut on that part of herself, trying not to shudder at the sound of furious fists pounding on the door in desperation.  Kid loved her. He’d said so.  She would believe him.  She would trust him.

“That don’t mean ya can’t kiss me goodnight,” he smiled, melting her heart.  “Just one kiss.  Like any other courtin’ couple.”

**********

That had been four weeks ago.  That one kiss had turned into a dozen before Kid had ruefully slipped out of her room to the sound of the others coming down the hall.  They’d been ‘courting’ as regularly as their schedules would allow since then.

Teaspoon had kept both of them off the ride rotation for the first week after they’d returned, due to their injuries.  They’d spent practically every moment of every day of that week together. Kid had taken her to see the memorial he’d built to their baby, near where Emma’s baby boy was laid to rest.  They’d cried together over the loss and healing had begun.  Since then they’d talked, they’d laughed, they’d argued and made up. 

Once they resumed their regular ride schedules, they’d had less time together, riding off in opposite directions as often as not.  And they had to be secretive when other riders were overnighting at the station.  Rachel had helped there as much as she could, assigning them chores together and often sending them off to the big house together on some errand or chore.

But then Kid had drawn the short straw, along with Jimmy, and Teaspoon had sent him to the Rock Creek station a week ago.  He’d promised to write, but nothing had arrived yet and she couldn’t believe how much she was missing him.

“What do you mean start packing up?”

Lou turned toward the sound of Rachel’s voice out on the porch. She stepped out of the door from Rachel’s private parlor where she’d been waiting for the other woman to return for tea and saw Rachel looking at Teaspoon with a bewildered expression on her face.  A strange man stood next to Teaspoon with a group of what were obviously riders, some of whom she recognized, ranging around him.

“What’s going on?”

Rachel voiced the question Lou was thinking.

Teaspoon shook his head.  “Russell, Majors & Waddell are movin’ us all ta Rock Creek.  They need someone steady ta anchor the station there.  They’ve had too many problems, what with the fightin’ ‘tween the states and all.”  He gestured broadly at the others standing around.  “Ennis, here, and his boys are takin’ our place in Sweetwater startin’ now.  We need ta be packed up and on our way in two days.  I’m takin’ Cody with me and headin’ out tonight.  That’ll leave ya Lou, Noah, Buck and Ike ta help pack up what ya need, household goods, etc.  No more’n a single wagon.  The rest stays here fer Ennis and his boys.”

Rachel nodded and turned distractedly toward the bunkhouse, already taking mental count of what she’d need to pack up. 

“I’ll get my boys settled in,” Ennis said.  “They’ll be ready ta start takin’ over the runs soon’s as yer’s start comin’ in.  When’s the next run?”

“Buck’ll be back tonight.  Noah in the mornin’.  Ike’s in town coverin’ the Marshal’s office fer me this afternoon.”  Teaspoon wearily scratched his sparse, grey hair as he considered what needed doing.  “Why don’t ya come with me.  I’ll show ya the schedules.”

Ennis nodded and turned to the five riders that had accompanied him.  “Why don’t you boys go pick out yer bunks.  Remember, they ain’t really yers till Teaspoon’s boys clear out, but ya can get started settlin’ in.”

“I want a top bunk,” called the tall blonde with a straw hat perched precariously on his jugshaped head.

“Not if I get there first,” shrieked a slender black boy who looked to be no more than 14, already racing toward the bunkhouse.

“You better leave the bunk closest ta the fire fer me,” growled another as he lumbered after them.

Ennis and Teaspoon watched them go, pushing and shoving the entire time, and shook their heads while sharing a beleagured grin.  Then the two men turned toward the barn.

“Teaspoon?” Lou asked hesitantly from where she’d been listening on the porch steps.

Teaspoon turned back and quirked and eyebrow in question as Ennis continued crossing the yard.

“Why… why are you and Cody leavin’ early? Is everythin’ alright?”  She paused, looking to be sure they were alone before asking,  “Is…. is Kid alright?  And Jimmy?”

“They’re fine, darlin’,” Teaspoon smiled at her.  “Jimmy and the Kid both.  It’s just a volatile situation back there.”

Lou stiffened and her eyes shifted frantically toward Ennis, now almost all the way to the barn doors. Teaspoon laughed.

“Don’t worry none ‘bout Ennis there,” Teaspoon reassured her.  “He’s seen more unusual things than a girl rider in his time.  And he ain’t much of a talker.”

As if hearing them from so far away, the other man turned back toward them and doffed his hat to her, winking charmingly.

**********

“I think that about does it,” Buck said, tightening the rope holding an oiled canvas cover over the top of the heavily loaded wagon. 

*Where’d you find all this stuff?* Ike asked.

Rachel shrugged. “It’s the stuff I didn’t find that worries me,” she muttered.  “We won’t know we don’t have it until we need it and then it’ll be too late.”

“Don’t worry, Rachel,” Noah grinned.  “I’m sure Rock Creek’ll have a mercantile where you can get replacements.”

They all laughed.  It was a relief to have completed the packing in time for their departure the next morning.  Lou would be sorry to leave the Sweetwater Station behind.  It had become the home she hadn’t known she was looking for over the last few months.  But she was beyond ready to see Kid, and Jimmy, and to reassure herself they were alright.  The letter she’d gotten from Kid today had been worrisome.

**********

Lou sighed wearily.  It was their third day on the road and she’d forgotten how slow a trip like this could be with a heavily loaded wagon. 

“Lou, I been thinking,” Buck said quietly from where he sat on his horse at her side.

She snorted.  “Well, ya ain’t Cody, so I ain’t got no idea what ya been thinkin’ ‘bout.”

“This trip is gonna take awhile,” he said. “That wagon’s slower’n molasses on a January mornin’.  And it don’t exactly take four of us ta ride shotgun.”

“What else am I s’posed ta do?” she asked.  “Teaspoon’d wring my neck if I showed up in Rock Creek without y’all. ‘Sides, even if we don’t need everyone on guard duty, how come I get picked fer relief?”

Buck looked around at the others before taking a deep, fortifying breath and answering her.  “First off, Emma wouldn’t be upset if you stopped by for a visit.  And…. we all know how much you’ve missed her since she and Sam moved to Omaha.  You could easily visit them and catch up with us before we reach Rock Creek.  And… we’ve all discussed it and we think you should be the one to go.”

“Buck,” she began with a warning note hardening her voice.

He held up a hand.

“It ain’t about you being a girl or nothing, Lou.  It’s about… well, you’re still not up to full strength.  We can all tell that.  If any of us need more rest and coddling it’s you.  And…. well, I figure there’s things you maybe can talk to her about that you can’t really share with the rest of us.  We… wouldn’t understand.”

The haunted shadows in his eyes got his message across more effectively than any words he said. They’d all suffered losses, both before and during their time together with the Express.  But none had experienced the sort of loss she had.  None except Rachel, that was and things hadn’t been the same between her and Lou since the miscarriage.  And Emma.

**********

Wiping her hands nervously on her pantlegs, Lou gulped nervously as she stared up at the fancy house the man at the train station had told her belong to the Territorial Marshal and his wife.  It was an imposing three story home with dormer windows peeking out of the attic and a wraparound porch that hugged the entire ground floor. It was so big Lou figured all of Sweetwater could’ve stayed there with room to breathe.  What on earth was Emma doing in a place like this?

Finally, Lou raised her hand, forming a fist, to knock on the door.  But just as she was about to, the door jerked open and a young lady in a black dress covered with a white apron stuck her head out.

“Deliveries go around back, feller.  Don’t ya know no better?”

Lou stared at the girl, mouth hanging open in surprise.

“Um…. I’m not making a delivery.  I’m here to see a friend of mine.  Emma Shannon… uh, Cain.”

“Well, Mrs. Cain isn’t here right now,” the girl sniffed, starting to pull the door closed.  “You’ll have to come back later.”  She looked Lou up and down, from her dusty boots to her overly long, for a boy, tangled hair and the battered hat hanging down her back. “And somehow I don’t think you’ve got a card.”

“A what?”

She sniffed again.  “A card. With your name on it, maybe an address or calling times?  It’s what civilized people do.”

Lou laughed.

“Ain’t much room to go carryin’ around a bunch of useless cards in a saddlebag.  Kind of need that space for food and such.  How ‘bout I just tell you my name and where I’m stayin’?  I’m Lou McCloud and,” she pushed against the door, knocking the impertinent girl back from her guard position and entering the grand house, “I’m stayin’ here. With my friend, Emma Shannon Cain.  Who I’m visitin’.”

The girl gasped and Lou took great delight in how red her face turned as she struggled to find the words to respond.

“Abigail, what are you doing at the front door, girl?  You know better than to answer the door!”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the girl suddenly curtsied deeply to an older woman dressed all in black, with a lacy, black cap on her head.  “I saw this vagrant loitering on the porch and just opened the door to chase him off.”

“I ain’t no vagrant!” Lou ground out through gritted teeth.  Stiffening her shoulders and standing as tall as her slight height would allow, she added, “I’m a Pony Express rider. And I keep tellin’ ya.  I’m a friend of Emma’s, Mrs. Cain. I’m here ta visit her.”

“And just what would your name be, young man?”

“Lou.  Lou McCloud.”

“Of course!  Come in, come in!”  The woman suddenly smiled at Lou.  “Mrs. Cain has told us all about you and your friends, Mr. McCloud.  Her ‘boys’ she calls you. You just come with me and I’ll get you settled in one of the guestrooms upstairs. You must be tired after your journey.”

Lou found herself following the other woman down the hallway, unable to get a word in edgewise.  A quick glance back found Abigail glaring after her as she left. 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Cain isn’t here right now.  She’s out at a Lady’s Aide meeting.  She’ll be back in a few hours.  The Marshal is out of town on a case right now.  Here we go, the Blue Room.   I think you’ll be plenty comfortable here.” 

She guided Lou into a room the size of the bunkhouse with a giant, four poster bed situated against one wall.  Everything, from the thick rug on the floor to the coverlet on the bed and even the paper on the walls, was in shades of blue.  Lou’d never seen anything like it.

“Are you sure?” she ventured, looking from the room to her own dusty, dirty, bedraggled self.  “Ain’t there some place a little less… fancy?  Where I could at least wash up?”

“Oh, I’ll have Timmy bring up the tub and send Abigail with hot water for you.  And I wouldn’t dare put you anywhere else.  Nothing but the best for Mrs. Cain’s boys.”

Lou shook her head in disbelief.

“You just sit back and relax.  I’ll have that bath up in no time.  And… if you need anything else, just ask for me. I’m Mrs. Peabody, the housekeeper.”

With that, the woman, Mrs. Peabody, darted out of the room, leaving a blessed silence in her wake.

**********

“Hmph,” Lou grunted as she struggled to unfasten her trousers.  “Guess I’d better stop eatin’ all that food the boys’ve been pushin’ on me.”

Finally, she managed to undo the buttons by sucking in her stomach and holding her breath.  She’d gotten her appetite back, finally, after returning to Sweetwater.  But before that she’d lost so much weight the boys, and Teaspoon and Rachel, had all been worried about her. Every time she turned around one or the other of them had some tempting treat for her.  And she’d been more than happy to accept.  But it looked like she needed to stop or she’d need a new wardrobe.  Not exactly something she wanted to spend a bunch of money on right now.

Finally shed of her clothes, Lou stepped up to the bathtub and ran her fingers through the steaming hot water before climbing in.  She sank down into the deep tub and sighed in bliss. 

Although the boys generally gave her first dibs on the tub, it was only a hip bath and, even as small as she was, she couldn’t really relax and enjoy the opportunity.  And that was before one considered all the dips she’d taken in cold creeks and rivers while at other stations where she didn’t dare disrobe near the bunkhouse for fear of being discovered.

A smile crossed her face as she felt the heat from the water seep into her muscles, tight from the hard riding she’d done to get here.  She’d pushed hard to get here as fast as she could, but she’d still only have one full day before she’d have to leave again to catch up with the others before they got to Rock Creek. No way she wanted to explain to Teaspoon why she wasn’t arriving with the others.  And she still worried about what Kid, and Jimmy, were getting themselves into in Rock Creek.  If it weren’t for concern about what Teaspoon would do to her, she’d have headed on to Rock Creek instead of coming here.

After a quick wash, Lou simply sat back and enjoyed the experience, until the water began to cool.  Eventually, she sighed forlornly and reached over to grab the towel.  Standing, she used it to rub dry her short hair.  Already it was starting to grow out, but it hadn’t really gotten back much of the length she’d chopped away yet.  It was still at the shaggy stage.  But she was looking forward to it getting long enough she could actually do something with it again.

“Lulabelle!”

Lou looked across the room in surprise at the sound of Emma’s shocked voice. She’d been so caught up in her thoughts she hadn’t heard the door opening.  The look of shock and growing anger on Emma’s face confused Lou.

“You tell me you’re here to invite me to your wedding.  Cause if it ain’t already scheduled, I’m about to schedule it with my shotgun.”  An angry fire lit in her eyes as she added. “I thought better of that boy than this!”

True Colors

The Whole Truth: Moment of Truth

Kid sat in frozen shock, his eyes locked on Louise’s slender frame, suspended from the cross Pike’s men had just raised over the edge of the Mission’s wall.

How?  he wondered inanely, how had she gotten there?  She was supposed to be safe at her new station!

Even as his breath was stuck in his chest from fear, his heart was leaping with joy to see her again, the competing emotions keeping him from moving or reacting in any discernible way.  All told, probably not that bad a thing judging by Pike’s expectant look, which Kid caught out of the corner of his eye when the other man moved impatiently.  But Kid never took his eyes off Lou.

She looked sooooo good to his eyes, starved for her as they were.  Yet, he was scared stiff by her appearance.  He’d forgotten how fragile she was, her slender body so easily bruised and broken.  Usually her fierce personality overwhelmed her appearance, leaving people with the impression of a strong, sturdy individual.  Having been separated from her for so long, her fragility was fully apparent to his eyes and heart.  It didn’t help that her position, with arms stretched out on the cross, just pulled her skin tight over muscle and bone, exaggerating her innately petite frame.

Lou found her eyes locked on Kid’s face as soon as they raised the cross they’d tied her to up onto its end.  But she couldn’t meet his gaze, looking quickly away in shame at her position.  She’d come to help, but now she was just another problem they’d have to deal with, a liability to her brothers, just like Kid was always saying.  The thought that she might prove him right infuriated her and she frantically tried to think of ways to rescue herself.  She’d spent years learning to take care of herself, so she’d never have to scream for help again and be let down. It broke something inside that she might now have to wait to be rescued.  She knew they’d try, but they shouldn’t have to endanger themselves for her.  As she fingered the ropes that bound her hands together, feeling the weakness in her muscles that meant she couldn’t break free, a small part of her, deep down inside, broke instead.  Who was she if she wasn’t ‘Lou McCloud, Pony Express Rider,’ the puny but spry youth who was as rough and tumble and tough as any of her brothers?

Unable to find an answer, her eyes wandered back toward Kid, almost against her will.  She could see the tension in his body as he held himself back from charging the Mission gate singlehandedly.  She closed her eyes and prayed, with every fiber of her being, that her presence here didn’t cause her brothers or, most especially Kid, to get hurt.  The thought that she could be the one to injure them in some way was almost more than she could bear. The pain of that bit deep and a slight shudder ran through her.

Despite her pain and shame, she couldn’t keep from sneaking peaks at him though. It had been too long since she’d seen him, really seen him. When she’d run into him on that run a couple weeks ago she’d never gotten a good look at him.  That had been a night of feelings, emotions, not appearances.  So now she drank in the sight of him.  While she felt small, puny as Teaspoon had once described her, he looked strong, vibrant in a way that drew her, heart and soul, to him.

His strength drew her, like a moth to a flame, and she found herself unable to look away.  She could feel it wrapping around her, calming the fear and pain and anger warring inside her, letting her relax and think logically.  She longed to fly down off the cross and throw herself into his arms, to soak up the strength he so freely offered her.  He always seemed to be there when she was at her lowest, sharing his strength with her, helping her back to her feet.  It was an effect she’d never realized he’d had on her before and she marveled at it.  She only now realized just how tight the ropes that bound them together were, when she needed his strength so badly yet couldn’t quite reach out to him the way she wanted.  She hadn’t really noticed it in his absence. Only now, when he was there yet still just out of reach,did his effect on her truly blossom in her soul.

 “Oh, now I wouldn’t try that if I were you.”

Lou’s head jerked to the raised platform just behind the mission wall that Frank Pike stood on.  She blanched as she saw him cock his raised pistol.  Another swing of her head back to Kid and she saw his hand slowly, carefully move away from the pistol on his hip as Frank spoke again.

“You never know who might get caught in the crossfire.”

She knew who Pike meant.  Her.  He’d found her letters and figured out who she was to Teaspoon and the others.  As she watched Kid wheel Katy around and gallop off she cursed herself for being so stupid, not only in getting caught but in carrying with her the evidence that made her a threat to those she loved.  Had it only been three days ago she’d ridden out, so sure she was on the way to help her family escape this situation?

**********

Three days earlier….

The small fire she’d lit to cook her supper over flickered merrily, casting valleys and mountains of light across her sharply carved features, the skin pulled taut over her bones with all the weight she’d lost in the last few weeks.

Her slender hands trembled slightly as she held the letters in front of her and read through them again.  She’d carefully wrapped all of the letters the boys, Teaspoon and Rachel had sent her in an oiled cloth to protect them, Kid’s on top.  Some of them she’d re-read so many times by now she had them memorized.  This time, though, she set the others aside and opened Kid’s missive.

As she re-read the dear words, certain phrases jumped out at her this time, making her pause and purse her lips in frustration. 

“Treating you like a proper woman…  I flirted with her shamelessly…. I know you and you’d be right in the thick of things, trying to save Amanda, protect Teaspoon, help all of us.  …..  But I would spend my time worrying about your safety and not concentrating on what I need to do.”

“How can someone so special be so infuriatin’ at the same time?” she muttered to herself questioningly.  “I should be with ya, Kid.  You and the others.  Whatever yer goin’ thorugh, I should be goin’ thorugh, too.”  She sighed and pressed the letter closed, holding it to her lips as she continued to mutter to herself.  “Half yer letter is you tellin’ me how much ya still care about me.  And the other half if you tellin’ me how glad ya are I’m not with ya.”

Even as she growled in frustration at the Kid’s pigheadedness, she could hear Rachel whispering at her from the back of her brain.  It was something she’d told Lou during one of their conversations earlier when Kid had been getting on Lou’s nerves with his protectiveness.

“You know, the funny thing is, it’s only the ones that you really care about that can get to ya like that,” Rachel had half-laughed, her green eyes twinkling.

“But they’re all like that,” Lou’d argued.  “Cody and Hickok and…”  She’d let her words trail off at Rachel’s look, daring her to continue lying to both of them.  She’d laughed slightly herself, shaking her head.  “I guess yer right,” she’d admitted ruefully before heading off to make things up with the Kid.

Lou smiled as she put the letters away, tucking them into the inner pocket of her coat as she lay down to sleep.  Rachel was still right.  But that didn’t mean she could just stay out of things as Kid obviously wanted.  They were family and she had to go help, in whatever way she could.

**********

Lou leaned forward, shadowing her eyes as she watched the group of riders heading out of the fort at a gallop.  The one in particular looked a lot like Jimmy, the way he hugged his palomino horse, brown locks flying out behind him. And there, that slender dark one could so easily be Buck, the stockier man next to him, Ike.  She couldn’t see the man on the far side of the group very well, but he definitely had Noah’s height as he sat upright on his steed.  But they hadn’t responded to her call, not even looking her direction when she’d given their standard owl hoot, something Buck had taught them all to do.

Shaking her head, she moved on down the street toward the Army’s main office, to see if the others had gotten here with Emory Pike yet.

**********

“Do you think we fooled her?” Buck asked anxiously as they slowed to a stop on top of the hill overlooking Fort Laramie.

Noah shrugged.  “She didn’t follow us, at least.”

“I still don’t see why we couldn’t stop and let her catch up,” Jimmy groused.

*That’d be a big mistake, Jimmy,* Ike signed wearily.

“Why?  Cause it’ll make the Kid angry?”

“No,” Noah shook his head.  “Because of where we’re going and the odds that we’ll make it out of there alive.”

“She’s family,” Jimmy persisted. “And she can carry her own.”

“Family or not, I say she stays out of it,” Noah said.  “Besides, how do we even know she’s here because of us and not some special run?”

*We don’t want to scare her off so she never comes back,* Ike added. 

“Yer right, Jimmy, Lou is family,” Buck continued.  “And whatever her reasons for coming here are, I think we owe it to ourselves to make sure at least one of us survives this.  I gotta side with Noah on this one.”

Jimmy grunted in frustration and pulled on his horse’s reigns, turning the palomino toward the west.  “Still got a lot of ground ta cover between here and the mission, so let’s split up.”

Noah nodded.  It only made sense to make the best use of their numbers.

Buck uncharacteristically chimed in, “I’ll trail Jane.  She’ll be harder to follow than the buckboard and, the way she took off, she might have a better idea than us where Pike’s headed.”

Before the others could respond,  he spurred his horse off at a tangent to their direction.

*Who’s Jane?* Ike asked, confused.

**********

Lou sighed as she pushed the food around on her plate.  The beans were unappetizing, only half cooked and overly salted.  The perfect ending to a perfect day.  Not.  She’d ridden hard to get here in little more than a day, then spent all of this day first finding out she’d missed the others by less than an hour and not being able to find their tracks.  The authorities said they’d hanged Emory Pike yesterday and didn’t see any reason to help her search. Now she was at a loss as to what to do next. 

A heavily perfumed working girl pushed past Lou, where she sat huddled in the corner by the stairs.  She didn’t even have the manners to apologize as she continued to chatter and laugh with her companion.  Lou steadfastly ignored the couple, turning her own problem over and over in her mind, trying to find a solution, until she heard the name Pike.

Her head jerked up as her eyes trailed the couple meandering up the stairs, her ears straining to catch more of their conversation.

“I was hopin’ you’d come out ta the ranch with some of the gals tomorra,” the cowboy grinned loopily.  “It’s the boss’ birthday and we’re tryin’ ta get him somethin’ special.”

“Well, I’m that alright,” she giggled back at him, tapping her closed fan on his chest flirtatiously.  “But ain’t none of us gonna be available tomorrow.”

“Why not?  It’s a Sunday, ain’t like this place’ll be open fer business,” he whined.

“That’s why we’re headed out ta Pike’s place,” she murmured so low Lou could barely hear her.  “And he thinks I’m somethin’ special, too. No tellin’ how long he’ll want me ta stay around, now that he’s back.”

The conversation continued as the couple turned the corner down the hallway toward the bedrooms upstairs, but Lou couldn’t make out any more of it.  She didn’t need to, though. She knew how to get to Pike’s hideout and how to get inside without him even knowing he’d been infiltrated.  A seraphic smile lit her face.  This was something only she could do.  None of the boys would be able to pull this one off.

**********

“You sure you want ta do this, fella?”

Lou nodded as she grabbed the saloon girl’s hand and started leading her toward the stairs.  Her other hand dipped into her coat pocket to finger the bottle of laudanum she’d bought off a China man down the block. 

The girl, Diamond Lil’, laughed and skipped to catch up with Lou, wrapping one long, white arm around her shoulders.

“I can see yer eager ta get started,” Lil’ trilled.  “But…well.. ya do seem a bit… ahem… young….”

“I’m older’n I look,” Lou huffed in her gruffest boy voice, trying not to laugh in Lil’s face at her concerns.  She was obviously at least three years younger than Lou.  “And it ain’t like I ain’t seen the upstairs of a saloon before.”  Probably about the same age you first did, she thought.

That seemed to pacify the girl who was now content to lead Lou to her room upstairs.  There,Lil’ immediately started trying to wrap herself around Lou.  But Lou shrugged uncomfortably and peeled her off, saying, “I’m feelin’ a mite thirsty.  You got anythin’ ta drink up here?”

“Sure!” the girl sang out, thrilled at the request, for it would mean a bigger payday for her.  She turned and pulled a key out of her bodice to unlock a cupboard along one wall.  “Whiskey?”

“Sounds good,” Lou murmured.  “Get one fer yerself while yer at it.  I’m feelin’ generous.”

Ecstatic at her good fortune, Lil’ poured two full tumblers of whiskey, then put the cap back on the bottle and turned to lock it away again.  While her back was turned, Lou quickly pulled out the laudanum and dribbled several drops into the tumbler closes to the other girl.  She just barely managed to tuck the bottle back in her pocket before Lil’ turned back around.

To cover her motion, she reached down and quickly grabbed the tumbler closest to her, the undrugged one, and lifted it in toast. 

“To a fun-filled night,” she murmured. 

“Bottoms up,” Lil’ giggled and suited action to words.  Lou barely sipped hers as her eyes watched Lil’ avidly finish off every last drop of the pseudo-whiskey, no way would they sell the real stuff at a place like this, along with the sleeping draught Lou’d added.

“So, Lil’,” Lou said, reaching out to take the other girl’s hand, “Where ya from?”

“Oh, here and there,” the girl fumbled, her tongue already thickened by the drug Lou’d given her.  “Mostly right here,” she giggled loopily pointing at the bed beside them.

“Ever wanted ta go anywhere special?” Lou asked, playing for time.

“Sure, don’t every girl?” Lil’ shrugged as she reached out to wrap her arms around Lou’s neck again, stumbling over her own feet in the process.

“Uph,” Lou grunted as she caught Lil’ and kept her from falling to the dusty floor.  “Come on,” she muttered as she half led, half carried the quickly fading girl to the bed.  “Let’s sit down.”

“Oooh, are we gettin’ to the fun part now?” Lil’ asked, slurring her words.  She flopped backward onto the bed and flung her arms wide in invitation.  “Come show Lil’ how much you love her.”

Her eyes fluttered shut, saving Lou the need to come up with a suitable response.

Lou sighed despairingly as she pulled the frayed and tattered quilt out from under Lil’ and used it to cover the girl warmly.  Lil’ snorted in her sleep and rolled over, curling up like a child, one hand tucked under her cheek.

Lou reached up and gently pushed the light brown locks away from Lil’s suddenly frighteningly  young face, covered by garishly bright cosmetics in an attempt to disguise it’s youth.  She shook her head as she turned away from the now peacefully sleeping girl and began to ransack her wardrobe.

“That ain’t love, darlin’,” she whispered sadly.  “And I hope someday ye’ll meet a man that can show ya the difference.  And that you’ll have the courage ta accept real love when it does comes knockin’.”

**********

Bam, bam, bam!

The sound of a heavy fist landing repeatedly on the door roused Lou from her light slumber in the chair next to the bed.  She’d dressed in a skirt and chemise of Lil’s that she’d found at the back of the closet.  It was the least revealing clothing she could find that still left her looking like the working girl she was impersonating.

“Lil’, up and at ‘em.  We’re leavin’ in five minutes.  You’d better have yer raggedy butt down here by then,” a rough, masculine voice called through the door.  “You don’t want me havin’ ta come in after ya again.”

“I’m comin’,” Lou called in a slightly falsetto voice, trying to sound like Lil’.  Apparently it was good enough because the sound of heavy footsteps moved away from the door and down the hall, followed by a repeat of the knocking and message she’d gotten obviously at the next room.

Lou quickly stood and checked on Lil’, who continued to snooze the sleep of the untroubled in her drug induced dreamworld.  Lou straightened the covers over her and then reached into the drawstring pouch she’d tied around her waist to pull out a couple of coins.  She’d kept Lil’ up here all night and the girl would be expected to give the majority of the money from the night to the proprietor.  Lou didn’t want her in trouble because of what Lou’d done.

She started to lay the coins on the dresser, then looked back at the sleeping girl and, shrugging, pulled the pouch off and left the whole thing there.  Maybe the extra would give the girl the courage to leave, find something else, somewhere else.

Wrapping a shawl around her head to disguise her shorn hair and shield her face, Lou took a deep breath and opened the door. 

An hour later, she was sitting in an old red stagecoach, trapped between two other women as they all bounced and jounced their way across the prairie.  Lou’d tried to get a window seat, so she could at least breath fresher air, but a last minute arrival had pushed her away.  Now, she just caught glimpses of the outside world in the middle of the up and the down of each bounce.

One hand rested against her thigh, where she’d carefully hidden Kid’s letter inside the handkerchief she’d been embroidering for him, wrapped tightly around one leg.  The rest of the letters and her other things she’d left behind at the livery stable with Lightning.  The feel of the crackling paper as she moved brought her courage.

The sudden sound of a different set of galloping hoofbeats from the stagecoach’s horses had Lou straining to see through the window yet again.  She caught a glimpse of a woman bent low over a horse, her long, dark hair flying out behind her. 

Amanda? Lou mouthed silently.  Had she made her escape?  Then, another bounce brought the entrance of the hideout into view and Lou saw Amanda disappear through the same gate the stagecoach lumbered through minutes later.

**********

Present day….

Kid leaned low over  Katy’s neck, pushing the paint to move as fast as she could, racing back toward camp almost as face as his own brain was racing.  What had Lou been doing in Pike’s camp?  How’d she gotten there?  She must have somehow followed them, but how?  When?  Why hadn’t she come up to them instead of heading to Pike’s hideout?

Topping the ridge, he plunged down into the copse of trees where they’d camped and his gaze settled on Jimmy walking across the clearing.  His eyes narrowed.  He didn’t know how, but somehow, he knew Jimmy was responsible for Lou being in Pike’s grasp.

With no more thought, Kid launched himself from Katy’s back onto Jimmy, taking him down into the dirt.  Even as he raised a hand to punch him, Jimmy rolled free and pushed away from his enraged brother.

“Kid!  What the hell are you doin’?” Jimmy exclaimed.

Kid stood there, breathing heavily, hands fisted at his side as he uttered the damning words, “They’ve got Lou!”

“What?!” Jimmy responded, confused.  “How’d--”

“Kid!” Buck interrupted urgently.  “We’ve got bigger problems!”

“Like what?!” Kid growled, never taking his eyes off of Jimmy.

“Pike’s dead.”

This earned Buck a quick glance, but then Kid’s head whipped back toward Jimmy.

 “I don’t care if Pike died.  I want ta know what Lou’s doin’ in the middle of this.”

*She showed up in Laramie,* Ike gestured, stepping between Kid and Jimmy.

“She showed up in Laramie?” Kid asked incredulously?  “And you didn’t tell me about it?  You didn’t tell her to go back?”   The last was aimed at Jimmy, who looked away, unable to meet Kid’s probing gaze.

“Kid, we gave her the slip,” Noah said quietly, trying to calm the situation.  “She was just getting into Fort Laramie as we were leaving.  She never even knew we were there.”

“Well, that sure worked out,” Kid gritted out, stalking toward Jimmy.  “Tell me the truth, Jimmy. Did you want her to go back ta Sweetwater, or wherever she’s been?  Or did you want her go to with you?”

Jimmy looked desperately at Teaspoon for help, but Teaspoon just shook his head warningly at him.

Finally Jimmy shrugged and said quietly, “I just wanted her ta come with us.  I wanted her ta come home.”

“Damn you!”

All the fear Kid felt for Lou’s safety combined in that moment with his longing for her he’d surpressed for the last few weeks, his grief over her loss, his guilt over not being there for her when she’d needed him most and his jealousy of Jimmy, who had been there to help her.  Unable to think clearly anymore, he lowered his head and rushed Jimmy.

Jimmy grunted as Kid collided with his chest, pushing him to the ground.  Trying desperately to free himself without hurting the other rider too badly, he put one arm up to guard his face, while pushing at Kid with the other, until the two of them rolled over.

At that point, he felt the others intervening, reaching in and pulling them apart and heaved a sigh of relief.  He really didn’t want to have to beat Kid up, again.  Especially not if Lou was about to come back to them.  He shuddered to think what she’d have to say about him hitting Kid.  Again.

“That’s enough!” Teaspoon thundered. “Kid, we gotta get inside that Mission.”  He moved over to Kid as the others let the young man go and grabbed his arms tight.  “We’re gonna get Amanda. We’re gonna get Lou.  And I got the feeling you wanna help us. But you gotta set aside whatever you got goin’ on with Jimmy ‘til we get that done!”  He paused peering deeply into Kid’s eyes. “ You understand?”

Kid nodded jerkily in acceptance as his rage cooled and he concentrated on the need to rescue Lou.

Seeing reason return to Kid’s gaze, Teaspoon nodded, too.

“You been closer ta that mission than anyone else. Can ya tell us somethin’ about it?” he asked.

“I’ll do my best,” Kid answered, looking nowhere but at Teaspoon.

“What’re we gonna do now that Pike’s dead, Teaspoon?” Cody asked, worry coloring his voice.

Teaspoon’s voice hardened as he answered. “Pike deserved to die. That don’t mean he still can’t help us.”

**********

Lou shifted uncomfortably on the cross.  She was starting to lose feeling in her arms, the way they were stretched out.  And she had to breathe very shallowly, her position didn’t allow for anything else, leaving her constantly feeling out of breath.

Even more distracting than the physical was her mental frustration.  Everything had been going perfectly. She’d gotten inside the compound without a second glance, even managing to evade the attentions of the saloon girls’ admirers as she slipped away.  That was, until she’d run into Amanda. 

She’d been so furious at her in that moment, when Amanda’s very presence wearing the same clothes she’d seen on the woman on horseback confirmed she wasn’t being held captive.  Lou hadn’t been paying close enough attention, had let the confrontation with Amanda distract her and hadn’t noticed until too late the arrival of Pike and his men.

First Amanda had handed her over to them, giving away her connection to Teaspoon.  Then they’d searched her thoroughly, embarrassingly so, quickly finding Kid’s letter.  That had been all the confirmation Pike had needed to have her ‘interrogated.’

She tentatively probed at a loose tooth, wincing as her tongue hit a bruise inside her mouth.  The wince itself a reminder of the growing black eye she sported.  And she wasn’t sure but thought she might have a cracked rib or two.  Pike’s man, Ramirez, hadn’t taken it easy on her because she was a woman.

Lou let out a huff of humor at the irony.  One of the few times she wished her gender had won her a little consideration and… nothing.  Luckily, for all Ramirez’ admiration of her stamina, the damage he’d inflicted was no worse than a bad fall off a horse, something she’d had plenty of experience with.

But now she was nothing more than a tool, something Frank Pike could use to threaten her family into bringing him his brother.

“Why’re ya doin’ this?”

The sound of Amanda’s distinctive voice floating up from behind her, jerked Lou out of her contemplations.  She turned her head from side to side, trying to catch a glimpse of the other woman, to no avail.  But she heard everything.

“A demonstration,” Pike said. “She’ll be the first ta die if they try and trick us.  And you’ll be the second.”

Lou shivered as a sharp wind slipped past the thin shield of her clothes with his words.

“What are you talkin’ about?”

The outraged confusion in Amanda’s voice, hinting at a suspicion of what Pike really meant sent the shiver to Lou’s bones.

“Comin’ back with my coin was brilliant.  It was just brilliant,” Pike purred.  “And turnin’ her over ta me.  That was very good.  Too good ta be true.”

“Frank!”

“I’ve never met Teaspoon Hunter.  But what he’s done in the past few days has made me respect him,” Frank said, his voice suddenly hard as flint. “And what she went through at the hands of Ramirez made me respect her.  These people cannot be deceived easily.  They know you.  The real you.  That’s who they’ve risked their lives ta rescue.”

“They’re fools!”

Even Lou could hear the desperation in Amanda’s voice.  Maybe she had been telling the truth when she said she was trying to warn Teaspoon.

“No,” said Pike. “Just loyal.” He grunted. “Like you. I’m a fool.”

Even as she strained her ears to listen in on the conversation, Lou was keeping her eyes glued to the horizon.  So she saw the others riding toward the mission even before Ramirez, who called a warning to his boss.

“Riders!  Four of them.  One of them’s your brother.”

Lou narrowed her eyes as she watched them getting closer.  There was something wrong with the fourth rider.  She couldn’t quite peg what it was, but had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Then, as she flicked her eyes across the group, she realized Teaspoon had included Kid.  She had not doubt the others were out there, sneaking in somehow, but wondered why Kid was there.  She could see the brittle worry in his eyes as they lifted to meet hers when the riders passed by her on the way to the front gates. 

Couldn’t Teaspoon see Kid was barely in control of himself?  Why would he have brought him along like this?  He was jeopardizing the entire plan, whatever it was.

Once they entered the mission, she couldn’t see what was going on anymore and had to rely on her ears again.  Whatever was off with Emory Pike, it was clear Frank had noticed as well because gunshots quickly started peppering the yard.

Frustrated and worried about her family, Lou twisted against the ropes tying her to the cross, trying to get free.

“Kill the girl!

She heard the command and knew he was talking about her.  She opened her mouth to call for help and the only thing she could think of came out.

“Kid!”

She heard more scrambling and flinched at a rifle shot coming from above her, but opened her eyes again when she felt nothing.  She hated getting shot!

A sudden sound of boots trampling across the wooden walkway just below the top of the wall had Lou looking down at her feet, hoping to be able to see something.  When a pair of slender, feminine hands appeared, reaching toward the ropes tying her in place, Lou relaxed.  Amanda.

Within moments, she was free and leaning against the other woman to half limp down off the walkway to the ground below.  She frowns in concentration, trying to ignore the painful prickles of circulation returning to her arms and legs after so long up on the cross.  She hated looking weak, especially after having to be rescued when she was supposed to be the one doing the rescuing.

As soon as she felt safe to walk on her own two feet, she pulled away from Amanda’s supporting grasp and took refuge inside the nearest tent.

“Thought fer sure I was gonna die,” Lou muttered, panting a bit at her recent efforts.

“So did I,” Amanda, equally out of breath, grinned at her.  Then she turned and began exploring the contents of the tent.

“What’re we gonna do ta help ‘em?” Lou asked, determined to get Amanda back out into the fight and helping those who’d come to rescue them both.

Amanda turned back toward Lou from the back of the tent, holding up what looked like an odd candle she’d pulled out of a crate.

“How about a little fireworks?” Amanda smiled wickedly.

Recognizing the ‘candle’ as a stick of dynamite, Lou jumped to her feet and ran to inspect the box.

“Yes!”

She didn’t remember much after that.  It was a flurry of running, lighting sticks of dynamite and tossing them whichever direction would do the Pike Gang the most damage, and running some more. 

**********

Kid looked around frantically.  He’d practically had a heart attack when he’d heard Lou calling his name in desperation and seen the rifle pointed at her head.  Thank God Cody had already been in place and heard his warning in time to take the would-be shooter out.

But in the furious firefight after that, he’d lost track of her.  Now he found himself ducking through rows of tents, searching hurriedly for both Lou and Frank Pike.  He had a score to settle with him that went well beyond Amanda’s capture.  He knew the bruises he’d seen dotting Lou’s face and arms, and most likely the rest of her body, were Pike’s fault.  And he intended to exact full payment for them.

Kid ducked as he heard one bullet hit the wall near his head, but not fast enough.  A follow-up bullet punched its way into his arm.

“Ugh!” Kid grunted, falling and turning to see the man who’d been next to Pike on the wall pointing a pistol at him.  Kid raised his own gun and fired rapidly.  Not even waiting for the man to fall, Kid began seeking some cover where he could reload.  He knew he was down to just one bullet in the chamber. 

**********

Lou never knew what made her look in that direction, whether it was a familiar sound, something she’d seen out of the corner of her eye but not really recognized, or just pure God driven intuition.  But for some reason she turned her head to peer down an ‘alley’ between two rows of tents.  There was no fighting coming from that direction, no reason for her to go there, nothing there for her to blow up.  But she looked anyway.  And she saw Kid, struggling to get to his feet.

“Kid!” she yelled in sudden fear, knowing he had to be hurt to be down on the ground the way he was.  She ran quickly to his side and began searching him for wounds, finding the blood soaked sleeve of his coat easily.  “Oh my God!”

“I’m alright,” Kid reassured her. 

Assured he was going to live, she reached under his arm and started trying to help him to his feet.

“Come on.  We’ve gotta get outta here,” she grunted trying to push him toward the entrance to the mission.  But Kid resisted her efforts.

“Pike’s gonna pay!” he growled as his eyes covered her face again, taking in each and every bruise she suffered.

Lou shook her head, more worried about Kid’s safety, especially with her lack of a gun.

“We’ve gotta get outta here,” she repeated stubbornly.

Kid shook his head, just as stubborn.  Pulling out of her grasp, he rolled back into the position he’d been moving toward before she’d seen him.

“I gotta get ta Frank,” he muttered persistently as his eyes tracked the bandits running frantically to and fro, trying to escape the fire coming from the various riders.  

Suddenly he stiffened as a familiar figure stepped out from behind the cover of a trellis. Squinting, he took careful aim and squeezed the trigger, grunting in satisfaction as his target fell.  “That was fer Lou.”

Lou sighed in exasperation.  Maybe now he’d listen to her. 

“Let’s get outta here, Kid,” she muttered, reaching down once again to grab his arm and help him to his feet.  This time he followed her lead.

Within moments the reached the riders’ horses, still standing calmly where the boys had left them when the firefight began only a few minutes earlier.  Guiding Kid to Katy, she helped him mount up, then climbed onto the rim of the saddle behind him.

“I kin ride fine,” he muttered.

Lou ignored him, reaching around his waist to grab the reins from his hands.  Looking up, she realized the others had coalesced around her and were mounting up as well.

“Boys, let’s get out of here!” Teaspoon yelled.

Lou couldn’t have agreed more as she dug her heels into Katy’s sides and followed the others out of the mission, to safety.

**********

“Looks like nobody’s followin’ us, Teaspoon,” Cody called after they’d been riding for a good hour.  “Should we maybe stop for a bit?  Make sure everyone’s alright?”

He tossed his head pointedly back at Kid, who rode stolidly in Lou’s arms.

“Yep, might be a good idea, son,” Teaspoon nodded in agreement.  “Should be a small restin’ place just over the next hill there.  We’ll take a break, water the horses, check on any wounds, while we’re there.”

Lou sighed with relief as they pulled up on the horses and dismounted a few minutes later.  The trees provided a break from the increasingly chilly prairie winds. It was only March and this part of the country didn’t really start Spring until June or so.  The short break they’d experienced in the weather was obviously over.

Stepping away from Katy, she started to rub her arms, but Kid wrapped his larger arms around her, hugging her close.

“Ain’t ya got any more clothes than this?” he asked, really noticing for the first time how little she was wearing.

“Not here,” she muttered shortly.  Pulling away from him, she said, “Come on, I’m sure Buck’s got somethin’ we can use ta treat that arm.  I’m pretty sure the bullet went straight through, but it needs ta be cleaned--”

She stopped when she saw him shaking his head at her words.

“No,” he said.  “Not until ya get into somethin’ warmer. I could make it back ta Laramie easily enough as is, but you’d freeze ta death.”  He eyed her up and down, taking in the unusual fragility of her limbs and added, “’Specially with as little meat as ya got on yer bones right now.”

“And just what do ya ‘spect me ta wear?” she snapped, losing what little patience she had.  “Ain’t like I could carry a full carpetbag in on the whore-wagon.” She looked around and grunted, “What?  Expect me ta make a dress outta leaves or somethin’?”

“I figured ya’d wear yer own trousers,” Kid grinned suddenly, reaching up to untie the saddlebags on Katy’s saddle.  Lou tilted her head quizzically, trying to figure out what he was up to.  Her jaw practically dropped as her cheeks heated to a fiery red when Kid pulled out a pair of her own pants and handed them to her.  “You, uh, left these behind… the last time,” he muttered shyly.

She looked down at the fabric in her hands and recognized the ripped trousers she’d asked the hotel laundry to sew up for her when she’d run into Kid weeks ago. She wondered why he'd kept them with him, even on this trip.

“Um, thanks,” she muttered, not raising her eyes to meet Kid’s.  She blinked in consternation as he pressed another piece of fabric into her hands and finally looked up.

He shrugged. “You need a shirt, too,” he smiled gently.  “Ain’t got one o’ yers, but it ain’t like ya ain’t stolen mine before, anyway.”

“But…”

“Go,” he said, turning her around by the shoulders and pushing her toward a nearby bush. “Get changed before ya freeze to death.”

She walked away, bemusedly considering the clothing in her hands, so lost in thought she totally missed his gentle caress across her bare shoulders.

**********

Her hands shook as she tied the last of the bandage in place over Kid’s arm.  It was a good thing he’d made her change first.  If she was this shaky with nerves, she’d never have managed to clean his wound shivering in that thin camisole and skirt.

Biting her lip, she wrapped the sling around his arm and tied it together, trying to figure out what to say to him, not that they were alone and could actually talk.  The rush of exhilaration and seeing him again was gone, replaced by a stone in the pit of her stomach. 

Finally, as she was tying a knot in the sling to hold it in place, she said, “Yer gonna be alright, Kid.”

Kid looked up at her, but she looked down at her hands, refusing to meet his gaze. 

“It’s you I’m worried about, Lou.”

Lou sighed, lettingher hands fall to her lap. “Kid,” she started to object, but he kept on going.

“You never shoulda come.  I told ya in that letter.”

“You told me what you wanted, Kid,” she said, shaking her head and reaching up to pat his shoulder.  “But what you and I got.. well…”  She paused, looking around the rest of her Express family scattered about the clearing, then added, “What we all got, is stronger.  We’re a family.  And when one of us is in trouble the rest of us got ta help out.”

Her hand clenched in the fabric of his shirt as she prayed he’d understand what she was trying to tell him.  Staring deep into his eyes, absorbing the warmth of his small grin, she thought just maybe she had.  Finally.

**********

“I hope they’ve got a good steak,” Cody moaned.  “I’m starvin’.”

*Like that’s unusual,* Ike signed, grimacing behind Cody’s back.

Lou swallowed a giggle at the familiar complaints.  It had been a long ride back from Pike’s mission hideout to Fort Laramie and she was looking forward to getting some rest.  Although, truth be told, her stomach was still upset from the emotional upset earlier in the day and the thought of a giant, juicy steak, oozing blood the way Cody liked them, was a bit more than she could handle at the moment.

“Well,” Teaspoon harrumphed, walking back from the hotel desk with a handful of keys.  “We’re gonna have ta double up, boys.  We got the last three rooms left.  Amanda, you and Lou can take one. Kid and Jimmy, yer with Hack.  Cody, yer bunkin’ with Buck an’ Ike.”

Lou raised one hand to cover the grin threatening to take over her face as she saw Kid glaring at Jimmy and Jimmy at Hack over the room assignments.  Not to mention Cody’s loud grumblings over being stuck with the snorer, Buck, and Ike’s hands flashing in derision.

“What about us?” Noah asked.

Teaspoon shrugged laconically.  “They only had the three left and I don’t figure we kin stuff four of us in one of them beds.  So you and I get the barn.  And glorious silence.”

The last was said as he glared Cody’s direction.

Noah’s eyes narrowed as he considered Teaspoon’s explanation.  They could all tell he figured there was more to it than what Teaspoon had said and were waiting for him to explode.  But he let it go this time.

“As long as I get a good steak dinner, that’s fine with me,” he said finally.

“Well, hurry up and get yer stuff up ta the rooms, boys,” Teaspoon said, nodding. “And then we’ll eat!”

Amid the chorus of cheers that announcement brought, Lou tugged at Teaspoon’s sleeve.  When he looked down at her, she said quietly, “I.. I think I’ll just turn in fer the night.  I’m awful tired.  ‘Sides, I ain’t all that hungry anyway.”

Teaspoon smiled at her gently and patted her shoulder.

“You have yerself a good rest, gal,” he said softly.  “Ye’ll be feelin’ fine as rain come the mornin’.”

**********

Lou slipped her feet out of her boots and sighed with appreciation to finally have them off.  They weren’t really hers, but had belonged to the saloon girl she’d borrowed the rest of her outfit from, and they’d pinched her toes like crazy.  Unfortunately, though Kid had been able to provide her with her own trousers and his shirt to wear, he couldn’t do anything about her footwear.  So she’d been stuck with them.  Luckily, her own clothes remained hidden in Lightning’s stable down at the livery. 

She yawned.  She’d get them tomorrow morning, she decided, moving toward the bed and pulling the coverlet back.

“Lou?”

She jumped at the sound of her name accompanied by a light tapping on the door.

“You in there?” Kid’s voice asked, floating through the oak door. “Lou?”

She shook herself at his renewed call, realizing she’d never responded.  With a jump she hurried across the room and opened the door.

“You… you weren’t asleep yet, were ya?” he asked, looking her over carefully.

She shook her head.

“Can I come in?” he finally asked when she failed to say anything.

Silently, she stepped back and made room so he could pass through the door.  She shivered as his arm brushed her on his way through.  She wanted so much to reach out and wrap her arms around him and never let go. But she was afraid.  Afraid to hope, to dare wish that things might work out, that she’d truly understood what he’d been saying in his letter.

She jerked when his fingers wrapped themselves around hers and he tugged her gently.

“Why don’t we sit down?” he said quietly, leading her toward the bed.

She slowly sank down onto the edge of the straw-filled mattress and watched as he carefully sat down in the single chair in the room, facing her.  He ran his hands up and down his thighs, as if drying sweaty palms, in a familiar, nervous gesture.  Then, he suddenly reached up and snatched his hat off his head and began twirling it in his hands.

“We need to talk,” he said quietly.

She nodded.

The two sat there, staring at each other while silence was the only sound filling the room.

To Tell The Truth